I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Monday, 26 March 2012

(we are young. so let's set the world on fire. we can glow brighter than the sun. ~fun)

i'm only twenty years old once. i have to make the mos of it. right? after all, we only have one chance to get the life we want. i guess i'm being overly philisophical (SP??? i don't spell that often...). i guess there's a reason. i was thinking about this guy today (yep, the guy i keep talking about), and i realized. i'm not into the dating scene. at least, not right now. i mean, i keep complaining about how i'm single and how much i want to be in a relationship. but i guess the way i feel is quite the opposite. which is kind of weird. i don't know. i guess i'm out of rhythm or out of practice. i just don't want to really be on the dating scene. as much as it would be nice, i don't want to commit yet, no matter how short or long-term it will be. i'm just starting my life. i mean, i don't think commiting to someone is the right thing for me right now. and honestly, i'm just not ready. i guess i realized that on friday. well, i realized that today about friday. and i don't know how i'm going to tell this guy. i mean, he has his life and what he's doing and i don't want to get in the way of that, either. i don't want to sound selfish or mean or nasty or whatever (a lot of ors but totally worth it. just keep reading). i'm just trying to do what's best for me. because i haven't done enough of that recently, between not making time to go to the gym and not having enough hours at work and writing my book (or lack thereof.). i'm looking out for myself and if he can't see that, then he isn't worth my time as a friend or girlfriend, or whatever he's looking for with me.
i kind of feel like sh*t because of what i have to tell him, but in the long run, it'll be worth it for me. i guess i didn't see that two weeks ago. whatever. i just know what i have to do. and that's fine by me. i know what i want and what i need. i can't have too many distractions at the moment. and a guy is one distraction too many, whether i like him or not (or vice versa).
i guess this is the end to the drama, too, because if there isn't anything there anymore, then there can't be anymore drama. which is a good thing. another weight off my chest (although this one isn't particularly my fault, thank God.).
okay, onto lighter topics. i think. i'm not too sure of how light these next things will be, but it's better than looking at the aforementioned one.
anyways, i had a kick ass lunch, thanks to my mama. we had grilled cheese and salad. it was pretty awesome, if i do say so myself (i just did!). well, after i waited about an hour for an oil change and tire rotation at the Chrysler/Jeep dealership. but i did get some reading in, so i can't complain too much. then i went to Kmart and CVS to help my grandma look for some stuff (turns out what she needed was at CVS... whatever.). and so, now, i'm sittng here and blogging (again...). aside from some writing, i don't have much to do. i have to go to the gym tonight, but really... it isn't too much to do. it'll be good for me.
and tomorrow, i get to come back to my grandma's house and be with her for a few hours. and maybe blog again. because that's what i do.
i don't have much planned for the week, except for some writing. i work saturday and sunday, so that beats the rhythm of coming to my grandma's house and going home to write. there are positives and negatives to having to work. i mean, the biggest thing(s) is that i'm working and getting paid. but with all the drama and bullshit, i'm surprised i haven't left yet.
anyways, i'm trying to go to see the Hunger Games this week. i know, wasting money that i don't have. but i think it's a must see. i've read the first two books all the way through (haven't quite finished the third one), and i really liked them. i just hope the movie is as good as the book. if not, i'll be disappointed. i don't think i will be, though. the trailers looked really good.
my grandma is ironing while i'm typing away on the computer. it's nice because i know she's doing something productive with her time and she sees that i'm doing something rather than nothing. so, in a way, it's a win-win situation. which can't be too bad, i guess.
anyways. i don't know if there is much else for me to say. i'm just blathering on and on about stuff that people don't really want to hear (read). but it's theraputic and i can't say that this hasn't helped me at all. it has. (i've already discussed how this has helped me in previous posts.)
anyhow, i'm on facebook (right, as i blog. i do need some inspiration now and then, though.) and sometimes it frusterates me how much groups or whatever post stuff. it's like every other thing i see is this group posted this, that group shared a link, this group is promoting this other group.... just shut up. i mean, i get that they're trying to promote other groups, but they don't have to post 300 things in two minutes or less. it's ridiculous. i know i'm a facebook whore, but it's not like i go around and update my status three million times in the span of a half hour. i just have facebook open so that if someone is on and they want to talk to me, there's a way to do so without having to text me.
i'm not being rude, i'm not trying to be nasty, i'm just telling it how it is (though it does irritate me, and i wish that some people would just get the point....).
i'm reading a new book (i don't know if it's new... i doubt it, but for me, it's a book that i've never read) called The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks, one of my favorite authors. i'm only about halfway through it, but i think it's a really good book. granted, i've read like three or four books (the Last Song, The Rescue, Dear John, and currently, The Lucky One... so four in total), but i can say that he is way up there on my list. i guess i need to get me more of his books. i don't know. i'm just a fan of romance. that's just who i am. he has some pretty good stuff. but that's just my opinion. don't take it from me. pick up one of these good books (or any Nicholas Sparks' book) and find out for yourself. well, you don't have to. i'm just suggesting.
well, i guess that's pretty much it (or i'm pretty much distracted by facebook by this point.). i do also have a life outside the screen, thank goodness. lol. otherwise i wouldn't be blogging about the whimicals and goings-on of my life. it would just be bland here.
okay, i'm signing off.
be creative, be yourself and don't forget - do what's right for you. <3

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