I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

(i miss it now. i can't believe it. so hard to stay, too hard to leave it. if i could relive those days, i know the one thing that would never change. ~nickelback)

i look at today's kids and wonder if they will have the same kind of memories i had when i was a kid. in the middle of the summer when i was little, all that mattered was that i could run around and have as much fun as i could handle. today's kids... they're different. they have all these gadgets that keep them indoors and they can't see the beauty of having easy, simple days that pass with ease. no, they stay inside and play these violent games. things have changed so much... at least, that's what i was thinking when i listened to the song that is today's title (for those of you who want to listen to the song, it's called Photograph. it's by Nickelback.).
then again, though, kids born from 2000 on don't know anything different. it's all they know and a lot of parents don't try hard enough to keep the kids outdoors. as long as their kids are appeased, then it's okay. what's wrong with going outside now? i have no idea.
anyways, done with the comparisons from 10-12 years ago and now. just giving my point of view with this and i'm done, moving on...
... and on...
... and on...
okay. done moving on. anyhow, last night was fun. we had a couple friends over. helene's ex and friend, chitundu (i don't know why they aren't back together. granted, they dated when he and i were in high school, but it's so obvious that he wants her again and she's comfortable enough with him.), and laura (yup, we're friends again... drama's good and over now.) and her boyfriend, terell, came over. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. we had pizza and chilled and talked. it was nice and easy, like how being with friends should be. pretty chilled and relaxed, without the sense of time passing.
a present version of the past. the easiness of being friends.
okay. okay, okay, okay....
i don't know if today's post is going to have a lot of content in it (wow, surprise...). i don't think i have a lot to say.
okay, so, last night, while i was hanging out with people, the guy who likes me texted me. well, first, he called my five minutes after his shift started (i texted him later, saying "wat". he wanted to know if i could cover my shift - mind you, this was like 45 minutes into his shift - and by that time, it was too late for me to care and i wouldn't've done it anyways, and he was already working). then, later on, he texted me, asking how my night was going. i said "why does it matter?" and he replied with something along the lines of "i was just wondering...". i don't know. i told him that i was busy and i'd text him later. he asked if i was mad at him, and i had said that i was distracted. this morning, he said "good morning." i have yet to respond, but i don't think i will. i want to discourage him from liking me. i know it's mean and kind of b*tchy but... what else can i do?
i feel like the more i text him, the more it's going to be an invite for him to try to get at me. i don't want that. i want him to back the heck off. like i said, i'm not into the mushy type. but... whatever. he'll live. i think that if i just keep it to the whole work relationship, he'll get it. but... i don't know because ... i just don't know. i'm not there yet.
today is wednesday. mmm.... i don't know what's going to happen today. it's a new day and i can do what i want with it.
i am spending too much time on social media sites (aka, just facebook). i think that i should delete my account for a week and see how i do with just my phone. i don't think i would do too bad, but i might go crazy. just a bit. because i have friends on facebook that i don't have saved on my phone. yep, i am so SMRT.
... right.
there isn't much goings-on today. i kind of want to go to the movies. but right now, i have nobody to go with. i'd rather go with someone and share the memories than go by myself and give the memories to someone second-hand. i'm just weird that way. if i do go to the movies today, i'll go see The Hunger Games. like i said before, must see movie. and if i can see it with friends, all the better, right?
like yesterday, i'm sporadically looking for a job. which is still better than i could say for two weeks ago. but i could do better than just sporadically. i just need to set aside an hour (maybe) a day to look for a job somewhere. maybe, that way, i could find a job. but i'm not one to sit behind a desk for hours (though, i do spend at least a half hour writing here. why is it that i can do that, but not for a job??? oh... i'm writing. right.).
like i said, i don't know if i could commit to being behind a desk for hours on end. it's just something that i can't do.
i know what i don't want and that's a start, i guess. i know a couple things that i do want. i want to interact with people. i want to be able to move around. it's just something that seems more familiar to me, the whole people thing and the moving around. i've been at the job i am at now (uh, burger king... ugh) long enough to the point where being still at work is very rarely an option anymore. though i'd rather be at home than be at work...
anyhow... i feel like it's going to be a long day. i hope not. because i would rather the days go by fast than slow. even though it feels like life is moving by faster, it makes it seem like there is no way to go but forward. and that's the direction i want to go. i don't want to think about the past. though i like the here and now, i do sometimes wonder about the future and whether i'll be happy in five years from now, in ten or twenty years. it's something cool to think about and imagine when you have nothing better to do. because the future is something you can create, whereas the past is something that can't be undone. sad, but true. i guess it's the whole i wish i were little again thing that was going on at the beginning of the post. whatever.
okie doke, i won't put any more spam on your computer. i've written enough for now (right, for now...) and i really need to get up and move. i've been sitting down too long.
be creative.

No comments:

Post a Comment