I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Monday, 25 February 2013

Moving Out/FanGirling

Okay, guys.... I'm trying to move out of my parents' house by the end of the week. Ashley is going to (thank God & the Universe) let me stay at her place for a couple weeks until I can save up some cash to get myself a place to stay. I'd never thought that this would happen. But it is....
A few days ago, my mom pretty much called me a lying, stealing, self-serving bitch that really doesn't care about anyone but myself (hence, the self-serving part...). I just laze around all day and eat their food, feeding them bullshit about what I do on a regular basis. Okay, that's not neccessarily what I do. I mean, I work, I go to school, I do my homework. And then they have all these expectations for me and want me to meet them, but think so low of me. It's like.... What a f**king contradicition, man. It's not all about what you want me to do and how you want me to live my life. It's MY life.
So, on Sunday, we had a "discussion" on how they want me to live my life while I lived in their house. They want me to render my paycheck to them every week, keep the room that I live in hotel room perfect and the car I drive showroom spotless. So, I don't have much to live on. They say they are going to spend $600 on me. But I don't see how, when I'm going to pay then $470 a month for shit ($57 goes to paying the loan, which comes out of MY BANK ACCOUNT, assholes!!!!!!!) like having the right to live in the room that they gave me (that they want fucking spotless all the fucking time), like letting me drive a car that they NEVER use (still..... showroom fucking perfect. dude, that's a ten year old car, it's not ever going to be showroom clean again....), and food. They are going to give me $130 dollars as gas and spending money a month... Which, mind you, is only going to go to gas, because gas prices are fucking ridiculous right now. If I put $30 a week for four weeks, that's $120 a month.... Retards, I won't have anything for spending money. Are they STUPID???
I mean, I guess that is more of an incentive for me to keep my shit together. But... That doesn't change the fact that they won't let me keep the money that I work for in order for me to get out of their house. Do they want me to get out of their house or stay here for the rest of my life, forever paying them for room and board (and my whole fucking life????? I don't owe them that... Sorry.)? They won't let me be my own person, they won't let me do what I want and need to do with my own money.
I guess I am not a parent and I don't see their point of view. But I feel like they are also very overbearing in what goes on in my life. They want me to do everything that they want me to do. But I can't do that because I am not them. Why don't they get the fact that I could never be like them? That I'll never, ever have their point of view on everything? That I am not their fucking puppet in this thing we call life? That they do not have the right to control me the way they do?
I dunno, I just wish that someday something will hit them upside the head and make them realize that I am not their carbon copies. I have a different view on everything. I am so sick of the fact that they think that they think that they can fill me to my very soul and think it's okay, that I'll get over it because I will be more like them.
Whatever, "mom" and "dad"...

Rant over. For now. I'm sure I'll be coming back by the end of the week with them all over my case about not being home at all anymore, about why I moved out (huh, that's so hard to figure out), about how I won't ever have any money (shit, I don't know why, maybe because they're STEALING it all from me).

Okay, I'm really done now... On to fangirling...
I'm discovering more music by The Wanted, their beats dropping into my ears. Hopefully, that will make me feel better, because the whole world fucking sucks. But The Wanted's songs make me feel good. If I discovered them earlier, I think I would have been in a better place in mind and soul. Because, to me, their music is just that good... To me.
I found this quote on Twitter the other day and it said "I am a fangirl and I cannot do calm." Frankly, I have to agree. I never do calm (obviously, see above RE:Rant). I feel like I am a little bit calmer when I hear The Wanted, but only because I am such a fangirl. I can think a little clearer when I hear their voices.
Well, I mean... I guess it's just me. Because nobody else in my family likes The Wanted. Well, my dad says he likes their voices, that their voices are powerful. But he isn't a fan to the extent that I am (obviously; he can't fangirl.).
Okay, well, I am going to bed. I am tired. I have to work tomorrow and figure out a game plan on as to getting myself a place to live. I think I can try to work it out with the 'rentals that if they let me save up my paycheck so that I can move out (and pay them $100 for insurance and the phone) by the end of the month or halfway through next month. Which would be a good bargain, I guess.

I will leave y'all with a quote: "Promise me you'll stay the way you are. Keep the fire alive and stay young at heart." ~The Wanted

Lots of love from my neck of the woods of TWFanmily,
Charly <3


As much as I would love to say I am leading my normal life (I am, BUT...), I have officially entered the world of being a fangirl. It's kind of crazy... I guess. I've been listening to The Wanted constantly, liking them on Facebook, following the band on Twitter.... and following each and every band member on Twitter. I've even started following other people in this fandom (a.k.a. TWFanmily... or, in normal people terms, The Wanted Fanmily.... shall we go even more basic? If you don't know what a fanmily is, it's just another term for a fandom.). I'm officialy crazed.

The Wanted: (Left to Right) Siva Kaneswaran, Max George, Tome Parker, Jay McGuiness, Nathan Sykes

But... There is nothing better than the feeling of being part of something that is bigger than you. Because that's what this is, I am part of something that isn't just with me. It's a whole following. Supporting the band through whatever they're doing, keeping up with what's going on... Being part of a fandom that does exactly what you are doing.
The whole thing with this is that this is the first time I am investing myself in acutally being a fangirl. When I was younger, I used to be a fan of the Backstreet Boys, but it was never to this extent. Granted, I was also 11 or 12, there wasn't Facebook or Twitter or anything. But this is something totally different. I think it'll be hard to outgrow this band. I really hope that they can  move forward and keep up with the times, like Maroon 5 or Bon Jovi (which are two more really good bands, but...). I would feel sad if they didn't move forward and they stay in this decade.
But, that is beside the point. I screamed like a girl (well, I am a girl) when The Wanted won Favorite Break-Out Artist at the PCA's (for all 12 of you who don't know what that is, it's the People's Choice Awards)... I've voted for The Wanted about a dozen times on Nickelodeon's Kid's Choice Awards (like everybody in TWFanmily, I presume, despite the fact that I am not a kid). My Facebook cover photo is of the band, and my profile picture is of one of the members, Siva. Such is the life of a fangirl, I guess.
I feel like I am the only one who's gone through this in my family... well, aside from my sister, Helene, who likes Mumford & Sons, but... She'll also listen to other music aside from theirs when she's listening to music on her iPod or computer. My mom doesn't get it. She just thinks I am fricking crazy for fangirling as much as I am. But what can I say?
I am so stoked right now, because The Wanted is making tour dates in the US and the UK. They're supposed to come in the second half of this year, and I can't stop hoping and praying to the Universe that I will be able to go. (Yes, I pray to the Universe. I dont' want to tie myself down to one certain religion, I am more the person who conforms certain beliefs from every religion to myself.) I keep hoping that somehow, I will be able to go, that I will have the means to do so. I also would love it if I had their music.... But right now... I have youtube for that.
Ugh.... Being a fangirl without the means to at least be able to buy myself their music kind of suxx. But... At least I am a huge enough of a fan to be a fangirl and part of TWFanmily. <3 And that's all that matters. We stick up for our band, we vote for them in the award ceremonies we can, we support them through the ones we can't, and no matter what.... We support them, even through their tight spots and lows.....
Well, I have to go, my sister's car has to go in....
Much love to you all <3

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

(We're standing in a light that won't fade. Tomorrow's coming, but this won't change. 'Cause some days stay gold forever. The memory of being here with you is one I'm gonna take my life through, 'cause some days stay gold forever. ~~THE WANTED)

So, with four days left until my 21st birthday, I'm totally stoked. It's going to be great. Saturday, I'm hanging with my friend, Tabby, all day. My plan is to make T-shirts... It's kind of a cool idea, we're going to make a jersey-type thing, with the name of our favorite bands on the front (we each get one white shirt) and on the back, we're going to print the last name of our favorite band member, and a number. Of course, my favorite band (if it weren't obvious enough) is The Wanted, and my favorite member is Siva Kaneswaran. So, if we use a little imagination, we can see what my jersey T-shirt will look like. :) LOL. And Sunday, since Ashley is working Saturday, I'm hanging out with her, she's going to make her T-shirt, and we are going to get a drink or two.
And THEN.... partying next weekend, too, because that's when I have the party planned. Because I am that awesome. :) It's going to be so much fun, because I am going to be 21 and all that good stuff.
So, obviously, I am soo very stoked and excited for my 21st birthday..... I don't think I'll have this much fun (or much of an excuse) after this year. Well, of course, you're only turning 21 once. You have to make the best of it while you can, right? I mean, really. I just hope that it's going to be as fun as I'm imagining in my head. If only.... LOL, if only what goes on in my head for parties actually happen. Well, for certain parties. It would be so much more fun.
Anyways, I'm sick, sore throat, coughing, stuffy nose, headache. It's not fun. I hope that it gets better, I don't want to be sick on my birthday, that wouldn't be so cool.
So, I feel like a doofus, but I'm a total fangirl, it's okay.... I think. But every time I watch a music vid by The Wanted, I totally fangirl. :) It's hilarious, but whatever. LOL
Okay, I'm going to sign off, my head is starting to hurt from the pounding of the keys... er, the noise from the keys when I pound on them.
Have a good one, guys,