I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Monday, 23 January 2012

Steven Curtis Chapman - Cinderella

she spins and she sways to whatever song plays
without a care in the world
and i'm sitting here wearing the weight of the world on my shoulders
it's beem a long day and there's still work to do
she's pulling at me, saying, "dad, i need you
there's a ball at the castle and i've been invited
and i need to practice my dancing
oh please, daddy, please"
so i will dance with Cinderella
while she is here in my arms
'cause i know something the prince never knew
oh i will dance with Cinderella
i don't want to miss even one song
'cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
and she'll be gone
she says he's a nice guy and i'd be impressed
she wants to know if i approve of the dress
she says, "dad the prom is just one week away
and i need to practice my dancing
oh please, daddy, please"
so i will dance with Cinderella
while she is here in my arms
'cause i know something the prince never knew
oh i will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
and she'll be gone
but she came home today with a ring on her hand
just glowin' and tellin' us all they had planned
she says, "dad, the wedding's still six months away but i need to practice my dancing
oh please, daddy, please"
so i will dance with Cinderella
while she is here in my arms
'cause i know somethign the prince never knew
oh, i will dance with Cinderella
i don't want to miss even one song
'cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
and she'll be gone

okay, last song, i promise. but i feel like i'm not blogging like i should, so i need to make up for it.
anyways, i went to a party two nights ago (thanks to my homie) and had oodles of fun. haha... well, i dont think that would be the right terminology for it, but hey. i don't care much. i had fun and that's all that matters. and, anyhow, we're planning to hang out this week. oh what fun. :D
as you can tell from two of the three videos today, the topic is freedom.... wait... Bob Segar's song is the freedom to choose what music he wants to listen to. so, in a way, all three are about freedom. anyways, random tangent. freedom. right. america is the country for freedom. but sometimes... ok, usually... it seems there is a price for it. gays don't have the same rights as heterosexuals. correct me if i am wrong. but they have to fight for that. and it doesn't seem right for them to have to fight for freedoms that they should have to begin with. the Constitution clearly stats that all men are created equal. that has come to include blacks, asians, europeans, native americans, hispanics, latinos, women.... should also cover gays and lesbains. "men" is the umbrella term for it and it should always be used that way.
but even now... women don't get paid the same as men in most salaried jobs/careers. i think that is total bogus that women have to work just as hard, if not harder, for less money. i mean, don't get me wrong. we've come a long way for equal rights and freedom for all. but i mean, it's so totally bogus that even when we say we treat everyone equally, paychecks aren't the same. fuck that. let's make equality actually equal. equal rights for EVERYONE, not people we choose to give it to. freedom for EVERYONE, not those who deserve it. freedom and equality are equal opportunity givers.
honestly, freedom shouldn't be given to that 2 percent who make millions, or billions, a year, making most of the U.S. income. we all should have freedom, even those who are under the poverty line. don't they deserve something, too? how about the families who have one salaried worker that the family is dependant on, and have others working waged jobs to help? they deserve so much. single parent families? come now.
freedom and equality for all.

Bon Jovi - We Weren't Born To Follow


Bob Segar - Old Time Rock N' Roll

i love love LOVE this song. :D

Thursday, 19 January 2012

okay, i know i haven't written in awhile. i've been working nights and haven't been on a computer in awhile. i'll get this rant out of the way.
i cannot believe that grown men and women can't grow up and be mature enough to allow equal rights for those who aren't of the same sexual orientation as they are. these people are acting as though homosexuals are second class citizens. they aren't they are just like you and me. they work, they support themselves, they go to school, they are human beings. they have feelings. and yes, they should be able to love someone freely and justly just like you. i find it so very wrong that people are hateful or fearful of homosexuals. let me say this.... if you, as a heterosexual, walk up to a homosexual and say "i hate you because you are gay. you should die.", don't you think that is hurtful? have a homosexual come up to you and say "i hate you to your very core because you are straight. you should die." you would feel scared and hurt. exactly the same way a homosexual would feel. so, suck up your shit and move on. because everywhere you go, you just might meet someone who doesn't have the same orientation as you. and hey, guess what? you might not even know and like that person for a who they are. not who they like.
Equal Rights for All. have a nice day.

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

(last post cont'd)

Yep, hitting the gym today. It will feel amazing.
Anyways... I need to go back to part time at my job. I am writing a book, helping my grandma out and trying to have a life. It suxx when you gotta balance that around working nights. I am not liking items much. So once again I'll be screwing people over but once I am back on part time, it isn't my problem. If we are understaffed it isn't my job to fill in places my managers opened by firing people. Maybe I just need to quit. Hopefully they will realize by treating their crew like shit, they won't have a crew much longer.

I'm done for today. Until next time.


Be strong enough to be yourself. If you can't see the beauty in you, how can anyone else truly see how wonderful you are?
Ok, ok! I missed a day! Two songs today. The first is "Lune" by Bruno Pelletier. From my most favoritest musical of all time. The second is "Watch Me" by Zendaya and Bella Thorn.

So, I got sick on Monday and got a doctor's note through today. I don't go back to work until tomorrow night. Which suxx, in the end, because my day back, I get to close. I am not okay with that. Humbug. I am feeling better today, though, and it's great.
Anyways, I have some good news. My cousin went into labor this morning. Well, the pain, for her, will suck, but what comes from it is a beautiful baby. I can't wait to meet the baby. Of course, I have to feel better first. I think it is such a wonderful gift to have a baby... Ok aside from the fact it keeps you up all night the first few months. But just the miracle of life...
Ok, I'm done.
Monday, I didn't go to the gym. I was too sick.:~( Yesterday, I went but only to use the steam room. Today I am going to actually work out. YAY!! Finally. Phew. It's funny, though, that it took until ingot sick to want to go to the gym. I never really wanted to go, I just went because my parents always wanted me to do some sort of something. Now, when I am sick, I have been almost yearning to go. I told my mom on Monday that I had wanted to go but she said I couldn't. I am feeling better and I will gomto the gym.

Monday, 9 January 2012

Ok, no link or video butnthe songntodsy is "Go the Distance" by Michael Bolton.

So, I woke up sick this morning, which suxx, but I am going to the doctor's office at three thirty to see what's wrong.I have my shift covered for tonight so I don't work until tomorrow night. One full day and tomorrow during the day of R&R and I should be okay... Hopefully.
So, I guess I am not as much of a dork as I make myself out to be. Which, for me, is a relief. And so I am way happy about this fact. But still... I don't mind. Well, maybe I do a little bit. But whatever
My brother came home from school early today. He said he wasn't feeling well. Ok, well, suck it up and be a man. Errrrr. I was so hoping to have the house to myself for awhile. Whatever. I will live, I guess.
I am sitting here, watching tv, and eating ice cream, just vegging out, trying to feel better. But I have no idea what's wrong with me. I am fatigued, sniffly, and my throughout hurts a bit. Plus, I am coughing. Ugh, ugh, ugh! I hate being sick.
Anyhow, I love my friends. What a mix of dorks, beautiful people, smart people. Though in love them, I feel I don't deserve them. They are wonderful. They may not agree with me. But that's how I feel. <3 lol
Green Bay Packers play Sunday. I can't wait to watch the game. Or at least know whether they won. They will win, I know my team.
Ok, well, I am falling asleep and feeling slightly dizzy. So, I am outta here.
Until nextntimr, luvs!

Sunday, 8 January 2012


okay.... not the actual video, but it's the link. youtube was being a little stupid today. anyhow, this is "Brighter than the Sun" by Colbie Caillat. a feel good song and i like it. :D
anyways, today is my last day on a day shift. i work closes next week (yes, today is the last day of the week. my week starts on monday, ends sunday. thanks, Burger King! how Majorly Stupid of you to 1. screw up my week and 2. for putting me on closes.). so, now, i have no life. great. that's just wonderful. can you tell that i hate my job? speaking of jobs... i was going to apply to Kmart.... yeah. i don't have time this morning to do that... i barely have time to write this post. let's see how much i can write in the next ten minutes or so, huh?
i worked late last night because the manager was too lazy to do all her dishes, so i ended up with an extra half hour. ha! and i'm going in an hour or so early today. so, that's even more money in my pocket. the one reason why i am happy for all the extra hours is because i get more money in my paycheck. but i mean hell! like why the hell do that to me, of all the people they have on the payroll? what the heck ever.
anyways... Green Bay isn't playing this weekend. they are playing a week from today. but i might not even see the game, because i might be in bed, considering my schedule. ... the game starts at 3.30, so if i'm lucky and they don't go into OT at all, i should be able to watch the game... or at least the second half, which is the more important part of the game, thank you.... GO GREEN BAY!!! i mean, hell, they are 15-1 in the regular season, and i'd like to see a repeat performance of last postseason. going all the way and winning it. it suxx for the other team to go all the way and lose it. if i were to fear that, i wouldn't want to go all the way. i'd want to lose. but i guess it would be an honor to be second best of 32 teams, if not first. i don't know, i'm not an athelete.
since tomorrow is my first close, i might just try and pull an all-nighter tonight so that i can get into the rhythm of being up all night and sleeping all day. this way, i can't complain tomorrow night about being tired by one a.m. i'll have that rhythm already going. cool....
okay, time to get ready for work...
until next time.
live life so you don't have any regrets because in life you don't get take-backs or do-overs. don't dwell on the past, plan the future, or obssess over every passing moment.

Saturday, 7 January 2012

okay, i know that my central posts all have music videos in them, but they're of songs that i listen to most, that i feel like have a little somthing to do with my life. just how i am. if you don't like it, either 1) ignore it or 2) don't keep coming back to my blog. so, there.
i'm just saying, this is where i express myself, where i think aloud (well, think while typing and having people read it.... kinda the same thing), where i can lay down things somewhere and figure them out. kind of a creative release, you might say.
anyways. yup, i do work this evening from four to midnight. this shall be fun. especially since i won't be able to go to the gym when i usually do... bah humbug. i'll go before three so i can get my work out in. because i need it anyways. but there's something that i don't like even more... i'm working with someone i am not particularly looking forward to it, even since she'd said she was sorry for shit that went down several months ago.
i need to take a break from everything. not from life, not from writing. i need to write for my sanity. i will go insane. i won't feel grounded. but i need a break from work, from my family, from so many things. i want to go on a mini vacation.... maybe during the week. for a few days. i'll just tell my parents that i am going to spend a couple days somewhere. just up and leave. i don't know. maybe ... i would love to spend a couple nights at a hotel with a friend. it would be so fun. but the real reason would be for taking a break.
okay, well... i'm outta here...
until next time.

Friday, 6 January 2012

Okay, I really like this song, so don't go hating. This kind of tells the story of part of my life. Or I feel like it, anyhow. But enough about me.
HA!!! This is about MY life... right.
Anyways... It's Friday. I have to work tomorrow. I am not too fond of having to work, 'specially with people who aren't too fond of me, or working with me. Huh. I've complained a ton about this, but I've never done anything to change that. It's about time, isn't it? Yeah. But a job is a job and it's a source of income, so I can't complain too much.
Anyways, it's Friday. Tonight, I'm gonna hit the club (and possibly run into some tennis dorks... not that I mind, as I aforementioned in my last post) and possibly be bringing dinner to my tennis desk front person friend that may need some dinner. Because I'm just that awesome, thanks for asking!
I'm just not up to working out today, which is weird, because I do enjoy working out... most of the time. Part of it is because I am my own ... I am my own.... Oh, goodness, I can't think of the word... I am my own self. Which is weird, because I am always my own self. Uh... Okay, whatever. I'm at the gym, I do my own shit without people over my shoulder, asking me what the hell I'm doing every time I do something. It's nice.
So, I have come to another realization today... I am totally and completely the biggest dork on earth. I am a movie/book dork. I'll randomly quote a book or movie and people will do a double take and be all like "..... uh, what?" and I'll just be like "it goes to what we were just talking about" or "it fit" or something like that.
Yup, that's me in a nutshell, dammit.
So, here I am, talking freely about my life, and I have writers' block on the book I am writing. I guess it's just a way for me to unstick myself as opposed to, I don't know, doing something Majorly Stupid, as I do on occastion. There are things that I do that are Majorly Stupid that I end up regretting doing later on, but there are times when I'm Majorly Stupid and reap the benefits of doing it. Right now, though, I'm doing something not-so-Majorly-Stupid and.... here I am, not really benefitting from it yet. Whatever. What can I say? It'll start benefitting soon, I hope.
Okay, it's lunchtime... But right now, I'm not hungry. Usually my stomach is screaming at me to feed it. But, for some reason, I'm not hungry. Maybe because I had an unusually large breakfast and it's held out this long. But, I mean, that was four and a half hours ago, so I mean, really??? Oh, well.
Okay, for all of you crazies reading this blog, and are wondering what I am doing in my life... I should have probably written this first thing this morning. Oh well, better late than never, right?
I'm currently not in school, and won't be until Winter Semester of 2013 (because of something Majorly Stupid... I'll let you decide for yourself what that means). I am currently writing an aforementioned book (clearly, I've mentioned it already, two paragraphs back). I am a nearly 20 year old who only has a vague plan for her life. I know that I do want to be a writer (though I don't consider myself an author yet, because I haven't gotten published yet... Though I do have a contract to get published in the near future!!! YAY!!! I am so excited!!!). I want to be a writer, live in either Chicago or Miami, and find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. If you think that is pretty damn detailed, think again, because I'm not even sure about half that stuff. I can be sarcastic, funny, happy, sad, angry... Whatever depending on the day. You'll generally pick that up on each post. But hey, I am who I am. I won't change for anyone but myself. I think it isn't about what you lose, but what you gain from what you lose. I've lost my share of things to lose, but there isn't much for me to regret. I'm not one to be overly regretful. Nor am I one to hold grudges. I am very much comfortable with myself, generally.
I'm gonna take it that you don't want to hear my life story written in the interwebs of the world. So, I'm going to let you read between the lines and figure out for yourself (or let you assume, guess, imagine) every little intricate detail of my life.

heaven's table

from the guy who stopped for the child in the street
to put a dollar in his hand for something to eat
to the mother who works every hour God's made
to put the kids through school and the loans repaid
she's some kind of hero
he's some kind of savior
yeah, maybe they're angels
'cause not all the angels
not all the angels
not all the angels sit at heaven's table
there's a woman who listens on the all night phone
to another lost soul trying to get back home
i've seen a guy pull a stranger from a burning wreck
in the beat of a heart gave his very last breath
that's some kind of hero
she's some kind of savior
yeah, maybe they're angels
'cause not all the angels
not all the angels
not all the angels sit at heaven's table
some say they'r heroes
some call them saviors
but i think they're angels
'cause not all the angels
not all the angels
not all the angels sit at heaven's table
heaven's table
'cause not all the angels
not all the angels sit at heaven's table
heaven's table

Okay, I do realize that today is "le jour de la fete des rois" (3 Kings Day, Epiphany), hence my irony in this song... I think. Anyhow, I did know that it is Three Kings Day, even before I played this song. But it somehow, and really weirdly, reminded me of this song. I have no idea why. I do realize this song is kind of sad, but hey... I do love the musical, individual songs, and the whole thing. However, it is sad.
So, besides the point. Yesterday, my mom made three "galettes des rois" (Epiphany cakes... the most totally wonderfully delicious cakes ever... I want my mommy to make me one for my birthday in a month and a week and a half... don't get too eager and wish me a happy birthday). One went to school with my sister, one went with my brother, and one is for us. Okay, let me explain these... Usually, there is a get-together and people celebrate la Fete des Rois, and eat this cake. Now, in the cake, there is a little... piece, I guess, a figurine. Right? And the person who gets the piece with the figurine is the "King" - "Queen" in the case of a woman, I guess - and gets to host the next get together the following year. This tradition I like, really like. Mmmmhmmm... Besides, the cake is wonderfully delicious and I could eat them day and night. Today.... Well, today is the Epiphany and we get to eat the galette des Rois. I am so happy. :D YAY!

Okay, I think I am losing my mind, slowly. I've come to realize that some of the most wonderful, nicest, coolest (and in most cases, kind of the best looking) people I know are... Tennis dorks. I know. Totally losing my mind, right? But let me say this... Don't go hating until you see for yourself. I know a few tennis dorks at the club I'm a member at and they are all way sweet, nice and cool (and the ones I tend to interact with are the better looking portion of the dorks, weirdly enough, since I don't think I'm all that pretty). And I'm not calling them dorks to be offensive; I use it as ... I don't know, I guess it's because they are their own - I don't know a better term for this but - cult. No... Not a cult. Um... They are dorks because that's all they do outside their work/school life. It takes over their social lives. So, they are dorks because that's what they do. Don't get me wrong, I do like them because they are incredibily nice. But I think it's a little funny they spend so much time on this one sport. No offense. Anyhow... Okay, I could go on and on and on and on.... and on..... and on..... on..... About tennis dorks, but I am not going to because I do have better stuff to do with my time.XXXOOO until next time.~~