I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

(I'm waking up/I feel it in my bones/Enough to make my systems blow/Welcome to the New Age/To the New Age[...]Oooh-oh/Oooh-oh/I'm radioactive... -Imagine Dragons)

YUP YUP!!! BIG NEWS!!! As I sit here, freezing my ass off, waiting to be tired... I decided to write. About news that I got. I know you're all holding your breath. Okay, maybe not. But I know I'm excited.
Okay, so not much of a buildup, I know. But... *drum roll*... I got into the AmeriCorps!!!! It's kind of like the PeaceCorps, but on a national level. And it's a non-military thing. BUT I GOT IN! I've been waiting for two or three months to hear about whether I got accepted or not. And they've been sending me emails like mad about checking my app online. Which I finally did today. YEAH BUDDY!!!!! I'll be living out of state for ten months, doing disaster relief efforts and all that good stuff, helping people out. But that's what I do - I help people. And I'm excited.
I'm so weird. But that's okay. Because I don't care what people think.
My mom and dad are happy of me. For once.
So, anyways. I'm spending the next few days at mum and dad's house. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and there's a party on Saturday. So, I'll be here until Sunday at least. And I need to look for a job on Friday and Saturday, something chronic. So that I can save money to leave. YAY! I'm so damn excited.
Anyways. I made eight dozen cookies for tomorrow. There's my contribution. On top of cleaning up. I have to finish cleaning tomorrow morning, but it's mostly leg work. Stuff that I don't mind doing. I did most of the hard stuff tonight, I just have to through the table cloth in the wash in the morning, finish the dishes that need hand-washed, and scrub down the counters and sink. And sweep the front bathroom and clean my mum's bathroom.
Like I said, easy enough, but completely time consuming....
I'm starting to fall asleep... Barely... And Skyping my girlfriend. And in desperate need of a cigarette. I think I'm going to sign off here soon and smoke and cover the cookies and go to bed.
So, anyways, a few days ago, a friend of mine on facebook posted this note that got me off my rocker. He posted a note about homosexuality and how it's a sin and all that. I'm like, REALLY? I'm attracted to men and women. I don't say that a man being attracted to just women is wrong or a woman just attracted to men wrong. So why do people think that homosexuality and bisexuality are wrong or go against nature? It's not a CHOICE, it's SCIENCE! It's the way that one's brain is wired. I can't change it. Whatever, I'm just going to shut up about it. It's going to make me even more pissed off than I was to begin with.
So, I guess I'm gonna sign off here.
Y'all have a good night. All of my US friends, have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving. Be smart.
And to the rest of ya.. have a great rest of the week and great weekend (if I don't post by then).
Stay classy, imaginative and amazing.

Monday, 11 November 2013

(Just remember we never said goodbye. So, I wrote you a note, left it in the pocket of your coat, reminding you that I'm still missing you. -Garou)

Soooooo. Big news. I'm going home. And not "home" as in back to my parents' house. Home as in back to my hometown of Paris, France. Back to where I belong. I'm moving there. And hopefully soon. I'm looking for an Au Pair there for at least six months, so I can get myself on my feet, find myself a job and my own place to stay. I'm also going back because I feel like there's something more for me there than there is here. Here, I'm held down by my demons, shackled down by all the shit that's gone on here.
But... The only thing that is bad about this is that my girlfriend is sad and upset and kind of mad at me about this. She's been crying all day because of it. We already live 1800 miles away from each other. When I move, it'll put a greater strain on our relationship, because I'm moving home. Further away than what we already are. She's moving to Denver, Colorado in February, though. Which will put an even BIGGER distance between us. It's killing me that I can't do anything about it. I mean, she's happy that I'm going back home and doing what's right for me. But is it right for US? I'll be home for a couple years, it's not going to be easy. I seriously don't want to lose her over this. I really don't. I want to be with her, I want to be where she is so that I can comfort her and tell her everything is going to be alright.
On one side of the token, it's something that will be good for me. It will do me sooo much good. To be home, to get away from the demons and the shit here.
On the other, it's hurting both my girlfriend AND me. because I'm the one putting a strain on the relationship. I'm the one who's moving away.

I just don't know what to do.

I told my mom what I want to do. She was along the same lines as me. That, because I don't know what I want to do, this will probably help me at least see what the world is like. I mean, I know that my parents will miss me, but it's not like I won't see them or they won't see me ever again. They both also have dual citizenship. And if they really want to see me, they can afford the trip.
It's going to be hard because the only life I know is here in the States. All my friends are here. My job is here. Everything. But that's beside the point. Just thinking about being home in a few months' time has me longing for the city streets. For the cafes there. The people watching. Despite not being a tourist, all the tourist traps, like the Eiffel Tower, Notre-Dame, the catacombs. The animosity I'll have in the big city. Just the fact that I'll be in my hometown again. The longing is powerful.
I have to finish a couple things before bed and it's already just about 2 am. I'm exhausted but this needs done. I'm already trying to get things set in motion so I can go home.
Have a good night all. xxx

Saturday, 9 November 2013

If you need a superhero, I'll be hiding in an alter ego. -Class A Super Hero

Wow, I haven't written in awhile. I feel bad. In the time since I've written last, I've moved out of my parents' house. Living life. I applied to the AmeriCorps, which is a national version of the Peace Corps. I have a wonderful girlfriend of two months. And my favorite band is now Class A. It's almost Thanksgiving now. Halloween has come and gone. This year is almost over. Where has the year gone!? Yikes.
I'm surprised that it's halfway through the second week of November and my mum hasn't asked me what I am doing for Thanksgiving yet. Like, what? Seriously. If she asks the day of if I am coming over, I'll be, "I had no warning."
 The dog has flees, poor thing. Her stomach is all red, she's so itchy. I feel so bad for her.
I wrecked my car on Wednesday... It was raining. The people in front of me were stopping for geese and I slammed on my brakes and hydroplaned, slamming into the car in front of me. The front of my car was smashed. It looked like the engine ate the front bumper, the lights were busted, the hood looked like a tent. It was insane. I smashed my knee against the dashboard and bruised my left left arm.it was terrible.
Anyways... Enough about me today. How is everybody today?