^^okie dokie, well the title of today's is by a Canadian sing. a very good looking one (sigh).
anyways... today is friday. as it turns out.... i don't think anyone is coming tonight. darn. oh, well... my sister is working, my mom and brother are gonna go to the movies in about two hours. and while i wait for the people who said they'd show up to show up, i'll write away the time. because, right now, i don't know if there is anything better to do. well, okay, maybe look for a job. but right now, it's grey and depressing out and i am low on energy.
while the drama from one aspect in my life seems to have gone down, drama in another seems to be growing like wildfire during dry season. rumors about about this guy and me "dating" seem to have spread around at work. and it's totally wonderful because we work together. i mean, i get the fact that we're kind of - okay, really - flirty with each other. but that doesn't mean we're together. and if they keep themselves out of other people's damn business, this kind of stuff wouldn't happen. keep the drama for your mama!
but this guy at work... totally not my type, totally off limits. but i mean, he's real nice. a downright gentleman compared to all the other idiots i've ever dated. whatever. i don't know if i want to get too close. i've been hurt enough by people who don't give enough of a sh*t about me, and i'm to that point - or was, anyway - when this guy walked into my life. already, i think i'm too close. i mean, i've put up this wall, closed myself off... especially recently. but... i think i need to be a bit more grounded, and if this is the way to do that, then why not, right? but, like i said, he's off limits. he's still in a relationship with someone else, no matter how committed or uncommited he is to this other person. i need to take a step back and take a good look at this because i feel like... i don't know what i feel like and i need to be able to. i need to keep my head clear and stay focused on what i'm doing now. not get side-tracked by some guy, no matter how sweet, nice, or whatever he is.
i think i need a good reality check, because i feel like my life has been thrown upside down as of late. and i don't know if i need a patented good friend check by a one of my two good friends or a patented mommy check.
whatever. i'll do what i do best... write. see if something comes up. see if there is some sort of ... solution, i guess, to whatever it is that i'm going through. until then... i have no idea. just ignore the rumors, ignore the drama and stay focused on myself. because that will help keep my head in the game. otherwise...
lol. well, i guess i've written, like, a whole book and i better sign off. i will, in a minute here, if i can stop writing for just a moment.
i just hope that everything will turn out for the best. whatever happens, happens for a reason. or so they say. i guess i just don't know the reasons for everything going on in my life right now, but hopefully it will work out in my favor. hopefully, soon i'll be past all this and on with my life.
be creative, be beautiful and keep doing what you love best.
~~~
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