I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Saturday, 5 May 2012

(starships are meant to fly. hands up and touch the sky. can't stop 'cause we're so high. let's do this one more time. ~NICKI MINAJ)

it's saturday. the carnival came earlier this week and opened thursday. i went thursday and friday. :) totally amazing. i know i'm 20, i know that i'm an adult, etc. but i love when the carnival is in town. some of the carnies from last year came back. well, there are a few from a few years ago that keep coming back. but what i meant was that i recognize some from last year because they all came to burger king last year. and i'm still at burger king, so some of them are familiar (and thankfully still with the carnival). they are all pretty much South African (kinda cool, though, if i do say so myself) and they are some of the sweetest people i know. well, not that i know, but that i interact with on a daily basis for the two weeks that they are in Rochester (may i add that the carnival is literally right in our parking lot... well the parking lot we share with the K-Mart in the strip mall behind us.). it's the carnival. it spices up the mundane, every day icky-ness of burger king. it's nice because it breaks the expected nasty-ness and hatefulness of other customers. and right now, i can't complain because we are getting so much more business because, like i said, it's right in our parking lot and customors of the carnival can walk to burger king in less than two minutes and the carnies basically live off of burger king while they work. not only that, but a lot of them recognize me from burger king, so when i do go, they say hello. and if i go alone, i won't feel so alone, because someone will stop and ask me how i'm doing. which isn't so bad, because they know who i am. well, know who i am from where i work. :)
anyways, i had to work two brutal shifts... thursday and friday i had to work at seven a.m. not the nicest shifts that i can work, but what i can say is that it's money and i can't complain too much for it. as long as i can be there and get paid for it, it's not too bad. especially with the new management (and hopefully someone on management will be leaving soon, thank goodness.). so, it'll be nice the sooner things can change. but i mean, i don't like it any more than i did three months ago. well, just a teeny bit, but only for the reason that it's not so stressing. plus, with being so busy right now, we don't have time to think of anything else BUT being busy. so, it's like, well, we have no choice but to work together as a team and do our shit.
anyways, i went to the carnival last with with Helene and Luke. we spent, like, four hours there. helene and i spent about twenty minutes talking to carnies. it was funny because they'd be talking some African language and we'd go and talk in French. and we'd make fun of each other while talking to each other. it was funny. well, i thought it was. but that's just me being ridiculous. whatever. right? hey, they got to see a side of me that wasn't the work side. Luke was hanging out with some friends, and had fun despite the fact that he didn't want to stay as long as we were there for. whatever, whatever. i loved it. i loved being there, i loved talking to the people i saw every day anyways, i loved just the whole carnival scene. it was like a party. party, party, party.
BUT, but but...
i have a work story. kind of funny, but whatever. there's this girl at work who is a lesbian. it's weird. i know she's a girl, i know she's not straight, whatever. and i was flirting with her, and yesterday she said a joke to me about me, and i was like "i don't like you at all." she said, "well, you don't flirt with people you like." i was thinking, like, whatever. i just have to back off. if something happens, it happens. and that's that.
anyways, wednesday night i ended it with steven for good. i couldn't still be with him when i didn't feel anything more that him being my friend. and he seemed to like me more that i liked him. and it wasn't fair for me to be with him still when it was so stilted. that's how i felt about it. plus, there were other people that i had more feelings for. which made it even more unfair for him. it wasn't right. not at all. i couldn't be with him and feel something more for someone else. it just wasn't nice. at all.
well, i have to go. mom wants me home and i need to go so i can be home on time.
have a wonderful day, and until next time. XXXOOO...

1 comment:

  1. Charlotte, the carnival is fun at all ages, I am glad you were able to enjoy yourself :) It's always great to take some time for yourself and have fun.

    I also think it was best for you to end it with Steven, if you don't have feelings, you can not manufacture them.

    Have an awesome day:)