(i wasted my nights, you turned out the lights. now, i'm paralyzed. still stuck in the time when we called it love. even the sun sets in paradise. ~MAROON 5)

first time ever i've used the same song for multiple posts. i don't know if i will do it again or not. but... there it is.
anyways, tomorrow is the last day of carnival. i will cry tomorrow, five dollars on it. this is the first year that i actually got to know some of the carnival workers. this year is the first time i actually had a thing for a carnival worker. tomorrow is going to be heart breaking. for me, at least. and then, for the next year, it's back to the mundane, asshole type customers who don't know how to be polite.
it's a good thing i have the day off tomorrow, otherwise i'd be breaking down at work. i can say goodbye to everyone before they leave for good. but after their next stop in St. Clair Shores, i might be joining them, so it might not be long before i see them again. but as a carnie. :) running off in the carnival. might not be the best lifestyle, but at least, i'll be out of my house for a few months.
anyways, i don't know how or why, this year, i actually got close to the carnies. they're all nice and all. they're all dorks, of course, but they're the best people around. even though it'd be a stretch to call any of them a friend, it kind of feels like i did befriend them for the 10 days they were here. i got to learn the little ins and outs of stuff that i would not have normally known. i know things that other outsiders don't know. because nobody takes the time to say hello to any of the carnies and treat them like people. but i know how that goes. a good portion of my customers at burger king think that because i don't have a good education and/or give them a service that i am subhuman. and that's bullshit. so, i am a fellow sufferer. so... i did take the time to hold conversations with them and got to know a few of them. because i'm nice.
and really, they are nice, too. it's a crazy mash up of people and i guess it fits. but there are, like, three or four that are my favorite. Jeremy (a.k.a. Peanut. i know, i rolled my eyes the first couple of times i heard people call him that, but i started picking it up.), who has blue hair, is totally funny. and he's the carnie i sort of have feelings for. i like that dork. he'd be my type if he weren't a carnie (i can't help it. i like dorks.). There's Robert (a.k.a. Beast. i don't know why, really), who is totally awesome and kind of hot. not my type really. but still kind of hot. Lindsey (way cool lesbian who has a girlfriend. don't go hating. she is pretty cool) is fun. i like her best. she knows be a bit better than Peanut (see above if you've forgotten) and i talk to him more often than i do Lindsey. whatever. lol. and then there's Josh who is kind of ... i don't know. he's weird. i don't associate with him when i can. and then there's Teshia (i think that's her name...) who is a sweetheart. we talked now and again since the carnival's been in town. she's with Erik, another cool carnie who helped me win a couple cool prizes at his game. and then there's Jody, who's another way cool chickadee. and Frank! he's a funny guy.
so, as you can see, i've spent way too much time at the carnival. and this is why i will be heartbroken when the carnival closes tomorrow. hopefully, i'll be there at close, so that i can say goodbye to the people who matter most (Peanut, Beast, Lindsey, Teshia and Erik, Jody, and Frank). but the last year went by kind of fast, i guess. even though the next year will be a bit longer, because this year, i've met some totally cool, kick ass people. ugh.
okay, well, i'm signing off now. i have nothing more to say. i hope i don't start bawling tomorrow, is all i'm saying.
XXXOOO, love you all lots.
~Charly