Family

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance"

I hope you Dance

When Charly asked me to be a guest blogger on her blog, I was honored that she had asked me.   I found her blog on pure bloggers awhile back and I was really touched by her honesty and openness.  It is not easy to be open to judgement and saying how you really feel about life. Charly said I could write about anything, well... I want to write about family.

Mostly I want to write about how we all want and need to be accepted in our own families.  I did not grow up in the typical family; I lived with my mom until I was 6 years old and then I had no contact with her for 9 long years.  I was raised my my father and my ex step mother Ruth; there was nothing typical there.  Ruth didn't have a maternal bone in her body, she was degrading and she had no idea how to love.  For years I was angry with her for the way she had treated my sisters and myself.  It is only as I got older that I understood that she had no idea how to love as she had never been loved herself.

I did get to meet my mom when I was 15 and I lived with her for a short time.  She was amazingly good and kind to me but there was love missing there too... my mother never had love growing up either.  She, however; tried to be a good mother but lacked something herself.  I wanted desperately to be a better mother, I wanted to show love.  I knew this was going to be difficult as I myself had not had love given to me when I was growing up.

Also, I was only 17 years old when I became a mother, I must say my oldest daughter was strong and overcame my inadequacies.  I did love her though and I told her often that she was beautiful inside and out.  My youngest daughter is so loving, it is hard not to be loving towards her, I feel blessed that I have had the opportunity to be a mama at two different stages in my life.

I see how my eldest found a wonderful man who loves her and who she loves, they married each other, had their careers started, even went to Europe before they had their first child Jackson.  I see her as a wonderful and loving mommy, I am so glad that she rose above all my short failings and became the wonderful mommy that she is.  I can also see my little one being an amazing mommy too, she is just so kind and loving.. she too had to overcome my inadequacies.

Although I was not the perfect mother, I must have done something right as I have raised two strong, kind and loving children.  Also my two daughters know that I love them with everything inside me.  Isn't that all we can do?

Thank you for asking me to be a guest blogger Charly, I appreciate the opportunity!