oh, guys, i'm so happy. almost to the point of being way too happy. i went out wednesday (complete waste of my time. Peanut had a bad day and wouldn't answer his phone, so i didn't see him) to St. Clair Shores to not see Peanut. i went back yesterday and ended up staying out there for like four hours, hanging out with Peanut, Thomas and Josh. and well.... the last 45 minutes i was out there, Peanut (*sigh*) and I snuggled off and on. he walked me to my car when i left and hugged and kissed me good-night. but we aren't really together (um, yeah. i don't know.). i don't know what it is, but being with him or just hearing his voice makes me incredibly happy. so much so that i promised that i'd try to go out again today to see him.
i told him last night when he was walking me to my car (with his hand in mine.... again, we aren't together. and i don't know why.) that i was happy that i came out. i don't know what's wrong with me. i like this guy a lot, but... there's the whole thing that he's a carnie. am i incredibly crazy for doing this? or am i following my heart and doing what's right? because, despite what my friends say, i have no idea. i just want something that feels right and this feels right. for right now, anyhow. because this makes me incredibly happy. even though i'm killing myself with putting gas in the car (Peanut said he'd give me gas money tonight if i go out... huh. none of the guys i've dated before never ever said they'd pay me gas money or just give me gas money. assholes! ... excluding Peanut.).
God, i really think i am crazy. tell me what you think. because i've lost my mind.
life is looking up for right now.... i have Peanut, i'm working between 20 and 30 hours a week, i have a social life to look forward to. life is amazing. :) 'specially Peanut. for right now.
the only icky-ness in this picture is that Beast got arrested and is in jail. like, warrents or something? i don't know. Peanut and Thomas only told me last night. i kind of wigged out. i was like, "holy shit, really?" i couldn't believe it. i was stunned. the guy is kind of sweet. as far as i know, for right now, is that he don't deserve to be in jail. i don't know.
but aside from that, it's all good. i just hope that he gets out soon.
XXXOOO and plenty of happiness.
P.S. i don't know why, but he makes me incredibly happy. have i mentioned that yet? this is way too crazy. but i love it, anyways.