I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Thursday, 31 May 2012

(i only pray you'll never leave me behind because good music can be so hard to find ~ADAM LEVINE)

okay, i don't normally do posts like the last one. but it was so weird and kind of spooky, so i decided to do it, anyhow.
so, monday (being smart), i went to the club and spent several hours in the sun (with no sunscreen). and i got sunburnt (serves me right.). and i went again the day after and got burnt worse, even with sunscreen. yup. amazing. my back is still burnt and hurts, but it's getting better.
but one good thing that will come out of this is the sun tan. ahhhhh.... :)
BUT.... guess what???
after more than a week of pining and hoping and being kind of in a funk, this guy (from a couple weekends back.... you know the one... the one that i got drunk with.) texted me yesterday. he explained that his phone wasn't working right and he'd just gotten it fixed. but, a week before memorial day, we had a conversation and part of it was that, no matter what (how i feel about him, whatever happens, etc), i'd be that friend that'd go to the ends of the earth for any one of my friends, him included. so, last night, he asked me if he could borrow some money for gas. but i only had ten dollars and he said that was good enough and that he'd pay me back tomorrow. whatever. i'm just that kind of person.
but hearing from and seeing him made me sooooo happy. it was like fresh water being poured on my soul. it was ... amazing. i still like him, i still want to be with him. but his friendship means more to me than any of that. i'm just so happy. we talked for a minute last night when i lent him money. and we've been kind of talking today, when he's had a moment from work to text me. we're (well, i'm) hoping we'll hang out sunday.... i would love to. i mean. just to actually hang out as friends. and see what happens. because last time, we started at the end. i want to start from the beginning and see if it will take us anywhere.
i'm just happy to find someone new that i feel like i can be myself with. someone who doesn't know me, someone who won't judge me. but somone i feel like i can be me in front of who i've never known before. and it's been awhile since i could say that. maybe it is because there was some intimacy between us before, maybe because we got drunk together, i don't know. but i think it's going to be easier for me to open up to him that to any other guy and be who i truly am in front of him. because he might mean something to me in the long run. i think he's worth keeping in my life, even just as friends, if nothing else.
well, i have to get to cleaning. have yourself a wonderful day. :)

1 comment:

  1. Charly, I know you like this guy... I want you to like yourself more :) He would be lucky to have you and don't forget that;)