(spending all of the years putting my heart back together. ...daughtry)

i can't sleep, so i decided i wanted to write... at least until i fall asleep. yeah, so this might not be a long post.
so. i don't know. it's been a long day. i worked. i'm still up and i've been awake since 7.30 in the morning. well, maybe i should get some sleep, huh? i guess.
i've been in a funk all day. it might have something to do about last night. i couldn't concentrate, i couldn't do anything right for the life of me. i don't know, but ... i will live. on top of it, i couldn't really say anything without getting into trouble, so i couldn't tell anyone why i've been in a weird mood.
on top of that, i go home after i went to my grandma's house to shower and change and all... and the 'rentals get all over my case about EVERYTHING to the point where i was crying... well, hell, i was already in a mood, i didn't want to have people pissed off at me and make me feel even more like shit. i guess ... i don't know.
right now, though, i just feel... like i'm hollow. for the moment. i just keep hoping that i am dreaming and that i'll wake up in the morning... and everything will be okay. hell, i just want things back to what they were.
it's weird because i can't put how i feel into words and i am QUEEN of words. it seems like that since i heard about this kid quit, life started spiraling downwards. the only good thing right now is that i've got a couple people gettin' me designs for that tattoos i want. and .... here we go. i'm listening to "better than me" by hinder (great song...) and i feel like i'm about to cry again. i've cried twice today, i don't neccessarily want to cry again. i hate falling apart, i hate having to try to hold it together. i just want to stay in a corner and just ... let it go. today has been the longest day in awhile.
but ... i guess tomorrow, after i go to the bank and call the insurance company and fill out some applications, i'll go for some excercise/chlorine theraphy in the afternoon. that will HOPEFULLY help a little. because i don't want to keep feelin' like this... i can't take it anymore. BLAH!!!
well, now that i've written myself to drowziness and to tears (almost), i think i am gonna go to bed.... have a nice night/day!!!
XXXOOO,
Rollie Pollie