(everybody's got a place where they belong, like a favorite song. i don't want to be a faded memory. i don't want to be the ghost you can't shake. i want to be the real thing. the world can be so cruel, but i will sing for you this cradlesong all night long. ~ROB THOMAS)

like i just said in the last post, i love this song. </3 my favorite by Rob, i have to admit.
anyways... i think i need to get over this for real. a boy is not going to be my demise. i figure i'm still wanted somewhere and that in the long run, this guy won't be more than just a faded memory by the end of the summer. i mean, if he texts me or whatever, i'll send a text his way. but i won't wait around. at least, i'll try not to. i'll try not to text or call or whatever. i did get a glimpse of a life that i'd never lived that one weekend, but i have to move on. i mean, that was two weeks ago. i won't be a ghost from his past that he can't get away from. i want to be the person he regrets not getting to know.
besides, if i'm still stuck on him, i can't look forward to the new people coming into my life (like there are any right now... but there will be.). i can't enjoy life right now. and right now, i need to focus on being happy and doing me. i can't do that hung up on a guy.
and i already have a new boy in mind. try as i might to hang on just for hope, i won't do that anymore and i'm already moving on (even though there's still a little part of me that might always hold on to that hope...).
the memory has already started to fade, the edges starting to turn yellow. but if i want to be honest with myself, i haven't forgotten how good it feels in his arms. i just have to get over it, because i won't go there again. i won't. it's in the past. done and over with.



~~~



anyways, this new boy. he's cute (not on the same ... NO! ..... no comparisons. not to the other guy, at least.). he works at kroger. at least, i think he still does. i haven't seen him there in awhile. but last time i went and he worked, he has asked where i'd been (it had been awhile since i went grocery shopping when this happened). i had been working a lot and hadn't had the chance to go grocery shopping, and i told him so.
even if he is just being friendly, it's nice because nothing's come of it (yet). i hope something does come of it, but if it doesn't, it's nice to have a frienship (acquaintanceship?) with a guy where it's stagnant. even though i do hope for something... because, right now, he's the only guy who notices (or noticed) how long it's been since i've shown up somewhere, he's the only guy who's kept up a continuing conversation with me without stopping right in the middle. he seems genuinely interested in what i say. but it could just be that he's friendly. i don't know. i just hope that something does happen. it'd make me happy.
anyways, i'm going to sign off. i've got to shower and get ready for the day. it's time to face the music. :)
XXXOOO,
~Charly