I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

(this is my jam. keep me partyin to the am. ~FLO RIDA)

well.... last night was interesting... i went to my gma's to do some laundry and steven wanted to go out for ice cream. and we went to burger king. we ate our ice cream and i ended up working for about 20 minutes off the clock for jesse. not that i mind, because he's a great manager. and i work at 10, which is less than an hour from now. fun fun...
anyhow, i dropped steven off on the way to my grandma's from burger king. he wanted to kiss me but i wouldn't let him... i don't know, i guess i'm a bit uncomfortable. i mean, i'm still not completely ... i don't know, comfortable with being with him. i'm not really okay, i guess, with the whole nine year difference, the whole settling down thing. it might just be me, or it might be him and who he is. i am not sure, but i am not comfortable with something, exactly. i couldn't say what.
anyways, i'm on the best buy, trying to figure out what the heck is going on with a purchase that my mom made for a dryer. this is ridiculous. whatever, i get to do something, other than sit around. gives me a purpose, i guess.
anyhow, i feel like today is going to be a long day... long, long day. i can deal with it. i work from 10 am to 6 pm, then i have to go home, and then go out to birmingham to start house-sitting for my cousin. she and her husband and their baby are going to ohio until sunday night. they're leaving the dog and cats at the house, so i get to go and take care of the animals, and commute to rochester to work and see my grandma. that's going to be so much fun.... not. what a waste of gas. but i can deal with it, i have the money for it. for right now, anyways.
the one good thing about my staying out in birmingham until sunday night is that i won't have to deal with dad much. he'll probably call me and check in with me, but i won't have to deal with him face to face. it's ridiculous how ... fricking ridiculous it is with him. he can't give me the space in my life, so maybe a week out in the other side of the world will help him see that he should give me the damn space i need. i guess if i show him that i can be responsible and independent this week, he'll back off, thank God. it's about damn time that he learn to do that, because i am to the point of just requesting a week off at work and sitting on my ass and showing him i can be more lazy than i am now. i realize he's working twice to three times as much as i am on a weekly basis, but i am working 30 to 40 hours a week now, plus helping my grandmother, and this week, being out in birmingham to house-sit. okay, i totally am not doing anything productive with my time, dad. i know what it's like to have to deal with responsibility. i'm not a moron.
i have a job that (GASP) i have had for almost a year and a half. and i am also doing stuff for everyone else on top of it, between babysitting, house-sitting, grocery shopping for mom and dad, helping out my grandma, and giving rides to everyone. i know that it gets harder as i get older, but i am getting my feet wet. i know this is just the beginning, but i am liking it. because i feel like i have a purpose now. i mean, i know i only work at burger king, but it's better than not working. i'd rather have something to do with my time that just sit around all day... especially with my obssessive dad. there's almost always something for me to do right now.
that might prove to be disasterous, but it might also prove helpful because i'm finally learning balance. which is a good thing. i mean... i know what my capabilities are and i might get better and handling things. so, in the long run, this will help.
well, i better go, because i have to go get ready for work and whatnot.
have an amazing day. love you all!!! <3


  1. A wonderful day for you too!
    Visit mine too

  2. Another honest blog Charlotte, you really should enjoy being young while you can, being young is about having fun... there is plenty of time to have responsibilites. I have two girls, my oldest is 30 and my youngest is 8. I want my eight year old to take her time growing up, I love that she can be like a little girl and still play with her stuffed animals. I want her to work when she's older but it is not the most important thing, I want her to have fun and be happy.

    Take your time with Steven, go at your pace, never at his.

    Have a fantastic day:)

  3. I try. But on the other side of the coin, I also need to start living my life. It's not as fun if you don't know what you're doing. I love that I don't have many bills to pay for yet, but I don't want to end up dependent on everyone for my whole life.
    And I know I should always go at my own pace with Steven. I have had too much stuff happen to me before to not know that. Thanks.
    And thank you, you too.

    and I did visit the blog. Beautiful. :)

  4. wow.... i was trying to say on the phone with best buy........ what a fail...