I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Monday, 23 April 2012

(everybody's waiting for you to break down. everybody's watching to see the fallout. even when you're sleeping, sleeping, keep your ey-eyes open. ~TAYLOR SWIFT)

it's monday. pay day... totally awesome. wonderful. :-) i'll finally have money.
and steven and i are together. :) how long, i have no idea. but it's nice. whatever. i'm happy. or at least, as happy as i can be.
my dad is intent on living vicariously through me. he's all like "you need to clean your room" (aka perfection... whatever), "how much to do you weigh?" (like it matters? really? why should it? why the fuck don't you love me for who i am? i mean, why the hell does my weight matter? he isn't living with what i do to my body, i do. and really, that's kind of superficial of him to care so much about that... come on!), "let me see your work uniform to see if it's clean." (again with the superficial, dad? my shirt doesn't stay clean more than five minutes when i'm at work!), "there isn't any toilet paper in the bathroom. how are you supposed to set a good example for kids???" (i told him i maybe - MAYBE!!!! - want to do something with kids when i 'grow up' and he's all like, "set a good example for all childredn".... what the hell, dad??? you're going to control what I do with MY time??? what bullshit.). i mean, it's like he doesn't have enough shit to do with his time he has to be all up in my crap, too. like really? take a fucking chill pill (haha, mom should give him Vicadin every day.... he won't give two shits then...) and relax now and again. he's so over stressed that i live my life when he's gone. i mean, how else can i ever be me? really.
it's so damn stupid... whatever. i'm not going to be home from tomorrow to sunday, so it won't matter. i'm house sitting for my cousin who is going to ohio for the week. so i don't have to deal with my anal parent.
UGH. i worked 30 hours last week and i'm working about 35 this week. i can't wait for my next pay check in two weeks. it's gonna be HUGE. like, killer. 65 hour pay check. i'm only getting paid for 40 today. so that's an extra 25 hours.... haha, a lot of money coming my way. life is looking up... except for my life at home. aside from that.... i have a boyfriend, i'm making more money. i have a better social life. well, not really, i'm just talking to a few people more often and i'm going out a bit more.
okay, so i have a dilemma.... i hung out with a friend whom i haven't seen in, like, ten years. and she's only a year younger than me, so not too bad, right? but she's totally gorgeous. the only thing is that we both have boyfriends. and she lives in clawson.... which is like a 20 minute drive on a good day. i mean, i would like to be with her, but firstly, i don't know if she plays on my team and secondly, i'm not comfortable with breaking up more than one relationship for it, let alone one. ugh. it's so annoying trying to figure this out. but i guess i'm going to go with what i have now. let that play out. right? i guess so.
well, i have to go. time to go to work. <3 you all!!!


  1. Charlotte, very honest blog as usual, that's good.. you should only write how you feel. I have been waiting for a new entry, I'm interested in how everything is going for you. It's too bad about your dad, we as parents don't always say the right thing. You are right that he shouldn't say anything about your weight, it never helps. I'm sure he cares about you but he should learn different ways to interact with you. Have a great week:)

  2. thank you! and i know i don't post as often as i did, but i appreciate you following and checking in often. :) it's nice to know that i am heard. about the whole parenting thing... i get it, but i feel like it's to the point that i should be able to do these kinds of things myself. thanks, you too... :)