I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Monday, 8 September 2014

New Musings

I only have a few minutes, so I'm going to have to make this post real quick. :)

Okay, so first, let me just say... there's a new post on my other blog. I'm really proud of it. The story turned out pretty decent. It's on charlotteswritingcorner.blogspot.com so check it out when you have a chance. Thanks...

Now, here we go. I'm going home in October. I took three days to go home. I'm leaving 3 October to go home and coming back to MO on 8 October. I'm so excited; even though I was home about a month ago, it'll still be nice to be home for a bit, about a month and a half before the program is over. The Universe knows how bad I'll need a break then. Just to at least come back with some sanity.

This weekend was kind of eventful. Friday night, most of us went to the 100th anniversary of Union Station in KC, MO. There were fireworks; I almost cried. I missed the fireworks for the 4th of July this year and I was kind of upset about that. But I got to go out Friday and saw an amazing fireworks display. It was amazing. Saturday, I didn't do much. I stayed on camp and watched The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. Just a nonevent; I didn't have any energy to do much of anything at all. Yesterday, though... Two of the ladies on another team invited me to go out with them. We went to the Chalk and Walk at Crown Centre. What that was was there were a bunch of chalk artists who chalked amazing pieces of art in the square. It was beautiful. Then we went to the India Festival, which was an experience in and of itself. We got to experience a little bit of the culture; there was music, good Indian food and performers dancing. I'm glad I got to see it. Last night, I was back on Netflix, watching movies and just lounging in pajamas. I didn't want to do anything else after.

So, after I wrote the piece I put up on my other blog, I got kind of ... I don't know how to explain the feeling. A little melancholy, there was a little bit of longing. Just a lot of thoughts. It's about a place I visited a few times when I was younger in the south of France, right on the Mediterranean ... and about a guy I met there.

I guess part of it has to do with longing to be by the ocean. I've written a few pieces lately, and the ocean factors in all of them. It's like the ocean is flowing in my veins. I can hear it in my head. The salty brine smell is imprinted in my nose again. I can feel and hear it calling to me. Not only that, but I yearn to be close to the ocean again, no matter what it takes for me to get there. I want to answer the call the ocean has to me... to be there and put my heart at peace again.

As for the guy... in the piece I wrote, I purposely changed his name. But that doesn't mean anything. He was the first person I fell in love with. Well, let me re-word that because I met him when I was 14. He was the first person that I loved. Like, not like family, not just as a friend. He was someone I thought about for a long time. It's weird. I haven't talked to him since that summer. And the piece I wrote is more like something that I wish happened with him and me... Something I would like to happen in the near future; moving there and running into him. I wish we had kept in touch.

But that's beside the point. He was my first love. If things had been different... If I had kissed him when he asked, if maybe I wasn't so pushy, maybe if I acted right... Maybe something would have happened. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had kissed him and something had happened between us. Would we be friends? Something more? Would I have saved money and gone to visit him? Would I be living there now, hanging out with him on a day off, doing whatever it is 22 year olds do in the south of France?

I don't know. I guess the Universe had something else planned for me. She put me the on the path I was on to learn different lessons, the right ones. But sometimes I wonder about Her decisions. Like that one, for instance.

It's just something I think about from time to time. And I guess it was what my subconcious was thinking about when I wrote that piece. It was something that, deep inside, I wanted to happen. Maybe in a different dimension, there's a Charly who is actually with this guy. I can honestly say I have no idea.

Forgive me my musings. I just needed to get this out, I guess.

I have to get back to work, though; I've spent more time than I planned writing here.

Have a fantastic day and week, beautifuls. :)


  1. Charly... I used to think about my David like this... lately wish I hadn't looked him up on FB... my heart was SO broken... maybe I wouldn't be me if I hadn't... maybe I wouldn't have blogged and found so many wonderful people. Not sure the pain of losing him... after having him and knowing how wonderful it could be ...

    The jury is still out on that... maybe one day... I'll think it was worth it...

    1. The only thing is... I never had this guy. Never. I mean, maybe I did ... but for like two hours.
      I've thought about him a few times over the years. The last time I heard about him was about four years ago. And just the mention of him kind of hurt. Because I missed him and still maybe had feelings for him. I still miss him. But nowhere near as much as I did.
      That being said, maybe I'll get over it. Because it HAS been so long since we've spoken or seen each other. We'll see.