I hope what I write about life touches you in some way. I hope that what I go through helps you live life a little bit easier. I hope the words written here helps change something for the better. Read on, dear friends. Read on, and help me like I hope I help you.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

(May our hearts be full like our drinks tonight. May we sing and dance 'til we lose our minds. We are only young if we seize the night. Tonight, we own the night. -We Own The Night|TheWanted)

Okay, so... AGAIN! Back again.

While I sat here, staring at my screen, PRETENDING to work, I was trying to think of something to write about. I wanted to write a creative bit, but I have no creative juices flowing at the moment. And I failed to come up with anything. So, while I sat there, drawing a blank, I was just like... I have this blog, where I can write about things going on in my life... And here I am.

Tomorrow, we kind of have the day off. It's 9/11, so my team isn't coming into the office. Instead, we're going to go volunteer at a food bank for two hours. Then, after we come home, we're doing a couple of service learning activities to try and make up another couple of hours that we're going to miss tomorrow. Honestly, it's kind of ridiculous that they don't have us coming into the office to get our hours. Instead, we're just volunteering and doing other whatever stuffs to make up the hours. Why can't I just take my last personal day tomorrow? Oh, because I was saving that for something important... like, in case I got sick or something.

I was checking the weather today and saw that there's severe weather back home. I really hop everyone back home is safe and being smart and careful if they have to go out. I hope that they don't go out unless they have to. There's severe thunderstorms with the possibility of damaging winds and possible flooding. Like, yikes. Let's hope for nothing like that happening.

Okay, so. I'm planning my second tattoo. This one is going to be on my left shoulder/shoulder blade area. It's going to be the infinity sign with FRA in the bottom right line. I really like the design. And when I thought of getting the tattoo, I was thinking of either on the inside of my left arm or over my left shoulder blade. Frankly, the left shoulder blade stuck with me. Plus, if/when I do get that tattoo there, it's going to be so much easier to hide than the one on my arm. Not that I mind people knowing I have a tattoo; it's just that I know my mom will freak out again if she sees I have another tattoo.

I've just been so bored at work today. But I actually did some work. And I went out to lunch with a few people from another team that's here. I actually did something today, so there's always a plus. It's just that I feel like I'm not being challenged with the work I'm doing, so I keep putting it off and putting it off. Because it's not like it's work; it feels more like just foot work that anyone can do, to be honest.

I don't know what's going on after work today. We're supposed to possibly work out after work, but since it looks like it's about to storm, I don't know if we're actually going to do it. It's looked all doom and gloom all day; I don't think it's going to storm or rain. But just watch it start pouring and thundering real bad just as we get back to our housing. Let's be real; it's a possibility. But I'm probably jinxing it by saying it outloud... or typing it here, which is just as bad. I just saw our local radar, and it doesn't look like there's anything going on here. So, maybe we'll get the chance to work out, after all. And then it'll storm right as we finish, right?

I'm just obnoxiously watching the time now, making it look like I'm busy by typing away here. In reality, I'm not doing any work at all; I just feel very useless. Like I've already mentioned.

So, I don't know if I mentioned in my previous post, but I'm going home in October. It's going to be a great break, especially since it's halfway through our last round. I'm going home for five days. In reality, I'm just glad to get away from everyone on my team. A lot of them have just been pissing me off, honestly. And I'm really getting tired and annoyed with some of their "holier-than-thou" bullshit. It'll be so, SO great to go home, get my head screwed on right, and come back with a better mentality on life. And when I do come back to KC, we'll have just less than a month here before going back to Denver for transition week, our banquet and graduation before we are done with this program for good.

When I first joined this program, I was so glad to get away. It was a way for me to grow up and get more responsible with life. I was so excited to come out and help people, get a different perspective on life, and figure out what I want to do with myself. But now, seven months in, I am so done and ready to leave. I'm so sick and tired of all the unneccessary drama. At this point in time, it feels like all of it gets in the way of work and the relationships amongst the team. Honestly, we do have a bigger team and that does factor into the fact that, yes, we'll have more drama and our team will divide into smaller cliques. But, honestly, the fact that we're a team of eleven shouldn't change the fact that we're supposed to be working TOGETHER, that we're supposed to be at least a little bit close. But nope - we're very divided, people complain about other people way too much, and we don't appreciate each other like we're supposed to.

Granted, I am also the pot calling the kettle black, because I'm not changing anything. But at least I am adult enough to say what's on my mind and let them actually know how I feel. Let's be real though - it's not going to change anything.

Well, on that kind of pathetic note, I'm going to leave. The end of the work day is upon me and I'm ready to just bolt out of here. Have a wonderful evening, enjoy life and stay positive. :)


  1. Tomorrow will be a better day Charly... have a great one ;)

    1. There is always a btetter tomorrow. :) Let's just hope that each day gets better. Xox