(God knows that I've tried seeing the bright side, but I'm not blind anymore. -Katy Perry

I don't know how to say it.... But I HAVE A NEW JOB! I don't know if I mentioned it before; as it is, I am just excited that I won't have to be in that hell hole any more... I'm just sad that if I leave sooner rather than later, I might leave before Ashely. And I know that she'll be okay and all. But she's like the older sister I've never had. It's like a comfort. I don't know. Ashely and I are close... And she knows things about me that Laura never knew about me. I'll talk to her about everything that's important to me... and anything that's not. And, quite honestly... her personality, her acceptance of me is something refreshing, something that I didn't get from Laura or anyone else. But I guess... I mean, I don't know. I just don't know if I can consciously leave and know that she's still at Burger King, working her ass off for a job where what she does is only noticed by maybe a small amount of crew and the managers.
But, like I said, she's older than me and she should be okay; well, I hope she'll be okay.
Anyhow, Monday, Tuesday and today, I had orientation and training, all for which I got paid for. So, I'm going to get my first DIRECT DEPOSIT on Friday, next week; I'll still have to pick up a pay stub so that I know how much went into my account, but I won't have to go to the bank, or cash my check... all that good stuff that I have to do at Burger King. I'm getting paid better, I'm working in a better environment. It's all good. I am so happy that I can get out of my old job. Thank God.... It's about damn time; I've been at Burger King for 22 months and it's about time that I get out of there.
Anyhow, withing the past week or so, Helene got herself a boyfriend, about three years older than her. He seems like a nice guy; he's someone she works with, so she's already comfortable with the guy. No qualms there. She seems happy, so I won't say anything; although, there is that little he smokes pot issue, but I don't have problems with that. If you want to smoke pot, go ahead; I can't stop you. It IS your choice to smoke, and smoking pot IS healthier for you than smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol. What I don't get is that marijuana is illegal, but alcohol and cigarettes aren't...
BUT... Like I said, what you want to do is your choice and I won't make a stink about it, unless you are harming yourself or others around you. I won't stand for that; I would rather see you live by getting a designated driver that see you crash and die... or kill someone else and see you live with that guilt all your life. All that good stuff.
I'm still planning on moving out within the next month or two. Still planning on moving in with Ashely, because she still has her door open. And, quite frankly, that way is so much cheaper than trying to find my own apartment. I'd rather take that route and have the chance to save up more so that I CAN get a better place. But I also have to weigh all my options. Whatever works best for me, right?
I'm still feeling like the black sheep of my family; still feeling like... I don't know, like my family still has problems with me.
About that... Sunday night, my dad made me get my planner from upstairs and right down everything I was doing for the week... and then he went even further and said that I had to get my planner signed every day by my mom. Um... Excuse me? I am twenty years old; I do NOT need someone signing a planner that I write every week. I don't need someone looking over my shoulder every second of the day, making sure that I do everything I say I am going to do. Usually when I don't get to something, I either haven't had the time to do something or I was working all day and I want some time for myself to relax and unwind from the long and very stressful day that I had. How fucking stupid (and really, I am sorry for dropping the F bomb, I normally wouldn't. I don't really want to drop that, but in this case, I think it kind of is called for) is that? I mean, seriously. People, I am twenty years old, not ten. I'm not in elementary school, where both the teachers and the parents had to sign your planner, so they know that everyone agrees and acknowledges what is going on.
It's things like that that makes me not want to be in this house anymore. I'm a grown ass woman, and I decide what I want to do in my life. That means that I don't need every damn body to examine and scrutinize every damn thing I do with my life. Grow up and let me be the person I am meant to be.... Seriously.
Okay, well, I think I'm done rambling about my daily issues, ramblings and thoughts. All of you all have a very nice evening.
~Charly