(have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone? you're whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone. ~P!NK)

okay, so, i'm not one who usually admits to being that girl who falls apart for every guy. let alone being that girl who does fall apart. BUT i do like this guy enough to be falling apart a little bit. just a bit. but whatever. i'll live.
he's supposed to pay me back the $10 i loaned him, so i'm hoping for a text or something asking me to meet him somewhere. whatever. i just ... i think i need some time to just chill. if he does text me, asking me to meet him up, i'll be like "i thought you were planning on texting me sunday about hanging out... just hit me up then." and just leaving it alone. i don't know. i think that's the best way. you know? i just want.... i don't know, i want to be normal again.
and the past month and a half, there's been enough guy drama that i think i need to just back off and be done with it for a minute. i need to breathe and let things happen. because i'll be happier that way, i guess. i don't know.
let's wait and see how things go. i can't predict the future. i can only hope.
XXXOOO,
~Charly

(i only pray you'll never leave me behind because good music can be so hard to find ~ADAM LEVINE)

okay, i don't normally do posts like the last one. but it was so weird and kind of spooky, so i decided to do it, anyhow.
so, monday (being smart), i went to the club and spent several hours in the sun (with no sunscreen). and i got sunburnt (serves me right.). and i went again the day after and got burnt worse, even with sunscreen. yup. amazing. my back is still burnt and hurts, but it's getting better.
but one good thing that will come out of this is the sun tan. ahhhhh.... :)
BUT.... guess what???
after more than a week of pining and hoping and being kind of in a funk, this guy (from a couple weekends back.... you know the one... the one that i got drunk with.) texted me yesterday. he explained that his phone wasn't working right and he'd just gotten it fixed. but, a week before memorial day, we had a conversation and part of it was that, no matter what (how i feel about him, whatever happens, etc), i'd be that friend that'd go to the ends of the earth for any one of my friends, him included. so, last night, he asked me if he could borrow some money for gas. but i only had ten dollars and he said that was good enough and that he'd pay me back tomorrow. whatever. i'm just that kind of person.
but hearing from and seeing him made me sooooo happy. it was like fresh water being poured on my soul. it was ... amazing. i still like him, i still want to be with him. but his friendship means more to me than any of that. i'm just so happy. we talked for a minute last night when i lent him money. and we've been kind of talking today, when he's had a moment from work to text me. we're (well, i'm) hoping we'll hang out sunday.... i would love to. i mean. just to actually hang out as friends. and see what happens. because last time, we started at the end. i want to start from the beginning and see if it will take us anywhere.
i'm just happy to find someone new that i feel like i can be myself with. someone who doesn't know me, someone who won't judge me. but somone i feel like i can be me in front of who i've never known before. and it's been awhile since i could say that. maybe it is because there was some intimacy between us before, maybe because we got drunk together, i don't know. but i think it's going to be easier for me to open up to him that to any other guy and be who i truly am in front of him. because he might mean something to me in the long run. i think he's worth keeping in my life, even just as friends, if nothing else.
well, i have to get to cleaning. have yourself a wonderful day. :)
XXXOO,
~Charly

i am such a dork. :/ lol :)

8th Grade
Boy: I Really Like You; Will You Please Go Out With Me...?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: What?!?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: YES!
*Girl Starts To Fall For The Boy*
*Exactly One Month Later*
... Girl's friend: I Think It`s Time You Two Broke Up.!
Girl: Okay..{Secretly Doesn`t Want To But Is Too Afraid Her Friend Will Hate Her If She Says No.}
... ... ...
#DONT READ
Boy: Hey.
Girl: Hi.
Boy: How's it going?
Girl: It's fine.
Boy: What's wrong?
Girl: I think we should break up..
Boy: What..?
Girl: We should break up.
Boy: Why..?
Girl: It`s Just... We Never See Each Other Anymore/:
Boy: I can change that.
Girl: I've never met your family..
Boy: I can change that.
Girl: I just don't feel that way for you anymore..
Boy: I wish I could change that.
Girl: I'm sorry.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I Have To Go..
Boy: Thanks for trying..

{Next day:}
Boy: Hey.
Girl: I'm sorry..
Boy: No I'm happy we broke up I could tell we weren't going anywhere too.
Girl: Okay.../;

{Freshman year:}( 9th Grade )

Girl: (Playing their song) I like him.I have since we first started dating,but I can't tell him;I can't tell anybody.

{Sophomore year:}( 10th Grade )

Boy: (Has A New Girlfriend)
Girl: (Playing their song) I like him...I still do...but I can't tell him,I can't tell anybody.

{Junior year:} ( 11th Grade )

Boy: (Him And His Girlfriend Break Upp)
Girl: I Like You. I Always Have -&&- Always Will!
Boy: I'm Sorry, I Like Someone Else.
Girl: (Runs Away Cryingg.)

{The next day:}
Boy: (Finds a note in his locker)

Note: I Told You I Like You, But I Was Wrong. I Meant I Love You; But You Don`t Love Me. I Wish I Could Change That. I`m Sorry For That Day Back In 8th Grade. I Really Didn`t Want To. I`m Gone Now, I`ve Been Sick For A While Now.. But The Time You Read This I`ll Be In The Hospital On Life Support. I Just Needed To Tell You Before I`m one. I Love You♥ Don`t Forget That!!(:

Boy: (Stares At The Paper For A Long Time And Runs Down The Hall, He Went To Her House, But She Wasn`t Home.)

{The next day:}
Boy: (Goes To The Hospital And Tells The Nurse Who He Wants To See)
Nurse: It seems she checked out yesterday.
Boy: She's better?
Nurse: I'm afraid not. She had cancer and she passed away yesterday. I'm sorry.
Boy: (stares at the floor, he runs out the door and down the street)

{The Next Day, At Her Funeral!)
Boy: (Asks to speak)
Boy: A Few Days Ago I Received A Note From Her. (He Reads The Note) And I Wanted To Tell Her Before She Left That I Loved Her, I Love Her. I Loved Her For A Long Time; And There Is Nothing I Can Do Now.! -Nothing-
All I Can Say Is I Love You, And Now Your Gone.... I Wish I Could Change That.!
Boy: (Starts Crying And So Does Everyone Else.)
~
The Boy Ends Up Marrying Her Friend Who Told Her To Break Up With Him In The First Place. When He Found Out What She Had Done, He Killed Himself; To Be With The Girl He Really Loves!♥ He Was 28.
Repost Or You Will Have Bad Luck In Love For 28 Years./:
Repost And Somebody Will Tell You They "Love You" Tomorrow And You Will Get Good News Tonight At Midnight:)

they hurt her

After lunch, her teacher announced that the school was holding a fire drill. When the alarm sounded, Carmen and the other students filed out of the classroom and assembled in the yard outside. As the teachers read out the roll call, the gang of five girls decided that this was a great opportunity to embarrass Carmen in front of the whole school during the fire drill. They moved over to where Carmen was standing, near a sewer drain, and began crowding the poor girl, getting in her face and nudging her towards the open manhole.

They pushed her and she tripped over and fell head-first down the manhole. When they saw her falling, the girls started giggling and when Carmen’s name was called out, they shouted "She’s down in the sewer!"

All of the other students began laughing. But when the teachers looked down the manhole and saw Carmen’s body lying at the bottom in the muck and the poop, the laughter abruptly stopped. Her head was twisted around at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. Worse still, she wasn’t moving. There was nothing any of the teachers could do for her. Carmen was dead. When the police arrived and went down into the sewer, they determined that she had broken her neck. Her face had been torn off when she hit the ladder on the way down and her neck snapped when she landed on her head on the concrete at the bottom.

The police hauled Carmen’s body out of the sewer and sent her to the mortuary. Everyone had to stay behind after school while the police questioned all of Carmen’s classmates. The five girls lied to the police, saying they had witnessed Carmen falling down the sewer. The police believed the girls and Carmen Winstead’s death was ruled an accident and the case was closed. Everyone thought that was the last they would hear of Carmen Winstead, but they were wrong.

Months later,Carmen’s classmates began receiving strange e-mails on their MySpaces. The e-mails were titled "They Pushed Her" and claimed that Carmen hadn’t really fallen down the sewer, she had been pushed. The e-mails also warned that the guilty people should own up and take responsibility for their crime. If they didn’t there would be horrible consequences. Most people dismissed the e-mails as a hoax, but others were not so sure.

A few days later, one of the girls who pushed Carmen down the sewer was at home taking a shower, when she heard a strange cackling laugh. It seemed to be coming from the drain. The girl started to freak out and ran out of the bathroom. That night, the girl said goodnight to her mom and went to sleep. Five hours later, her mom was awoken in the middle of the night, by a loud noise that resounded throughout the house. She ran into her daughter’s room, only to find it empty. There was no trace of the girl. The worried mother called the police and when they arrived,they conducted a search of the area. Eventually, they discovered the girl’s grisly remains.

Her corpse was lying in the sewer, covered in muck and poop. Her neck was broken and her face missing. It had been completely torn off. One by one, all of the girls who pushed Carmen that day were found dead. They had all been killed in exactly the same way and were all found at exactly the same spot. In the sewer at the bottom of the same uncovered manhole where Carmen had met her doom. But the killing didn’t stop there. More and more of Carmen’s former classmates were found dead. It seemed that anyone who didn’t believe that Carmen had been pushed, was eventually found down in the sewer with their necks broken and their faces torn off.

They say that Carmen’s ghost is still on the rampage, hunting down anyone who doesn’t believe her story. According to the legend, Carmen will get you, whether it’s from a toilet, a shower, a sink or a drain. When you go to sleep, you’ll wake up in the sewer, in complete darkness, paralyzed, unable to move, hearing cackling laughter all around you. Then, as you scream in horror, Carmen will come and tear your face off.

So be careful who you bully, because you just might find yourself on the receiving end of the curse of Carmen Winstead.

FACT: About two months later,16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later,the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower,or a drain.

(i don't want to be lonely no more. i don't want to have to pay for this. i don't want to know the lover at my door. it's just another heartache on my list. i don't want to be angry no more. you know i could never stand for this. so, when you tell me you love me, know for sure. ~ROB THOMAS)

what a funk i'm in. yes, i realize it's late. yes, i do know i've never posted this late before. i do know that i haven't written a real post since.... monday. almost a week. but i can't find words for how i feel right now. for the past week. or was it sunday that i last posted? i have no idea. i guess what happened was we wouldn't get attatched. sadly, i kind of did. and now, i'm sitting here, feeling hollow. we've only talked sporadically since monday. but now... i feel like i should just get over it. i know it'd be better. i know that it'd be easier.
i just don't know anymore. i've been weird all week. i guess it's just this whole thing. i am done with it, though. even though i don't know how to let it go. i got a taste of a way of life that seems thrilling and fun. and i shared it with my best friend, her boyfriend and a guy that could have meant something to me. i just want to cry. what good would that do? none. right.
there is another guy that could potentially help me get my mind off this guy. he works at my local kroger. his name is todd. i went in last week to do some grocery shopping (obviously) and i went to the produce to get, well, produce, and he was back there, putting stuff away. he asked where i'd been and i told him that i've been working and hadn't had the time to go grocery shopping in awhile. not another soul noticed or said anything at all like that to me who works there. he might just be friendly, though. i'm just saying that he's been kind of a constant. partly (ok, mostly) because he works at kroger and i go there often enough. and partly because there isn't anything romantic about the relationship (wait, what relationship? there is no relationship....). but whatever. i smile when i see him, without thinking. he's easy to talk to. someone that i might want to get to know.
it's just hope, though... (wow, pretty much that whole paragraph, i hardly thought about the first guy... huh....). hope that it might go somewhere, hope that we could be friends (maybe something more???). hope that maybe ... just whatever. whatever is there right now i don't want to ruin. because it makes my life a little bit easier whenever i see him. because i am truly happy to see him. because he's nice. because ... i don't know.
i just have no idea what to do. i just want to figure this out in the least painful and fastest way possible, thank you. because i'm done with this funky, sad, hollow feeling that's been sitting in my chest most of the week.
well, i'm off to bed. gonna put my volume on my phone ... Laura said she'd text me later. so... yeah. i might just stay up until she does and crash. but i'm not gonna stay here and pour out my sorrowful love life here when i don't have to.
have a good night, guys. you all are wonderful.
XXXOOO,
~Charly

Just read the little stories and think of a wish as you scroll all the way to the bottom. There is a message there, then make your wish. No attachment on this one. I'm 13 years old, and I wished that my dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m. When I made my wish. At 3:07 p.m.(14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there my Dad was, luggage and all!! I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works!!! My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office. He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years. What a great email it was!! Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. ex. you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true). However, if you don't send this to people in 5 minutes, you will have bad luck for years!! Go for it!!!SCROLL DOWN!
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 STOP!!! Congratulations!!! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes. Now follow this carefully....it can be very rewarding!!!! If you send this to 10 more people, other than the 5 that you already have to send to, something major that you've been wanting will happen

(i am a wild one, break me in. saddle me up and let's begin. i am a wild one, tame me now. running with wolves and i'm on the prowl. ~SIA)

okay, okay, not the cleanest song to use as a title. but i had to get something new. i've been re-using a couple songs. so... yeah.
but... anyways. i feel so insufficient. i only have 30 hours this week (if i don't get breaks) and he has 85 hours. and i know if i'm complaining about it, i should change it. but right now, i don't know. i'm starting to get my life together. but maybe i should get another job. that would make sense (cents? haha).
oh. my. god. i can't stop thinking about the guy. i know, i know. i just met the guy friday. but, i mean. how can i not? he's hot as hell. and a gentleman. and he's on the right path. shit. he's so damn perfect. i don't know what it is. he doesn't think he is... well, attractive in any way. but i've told him enough since friday that i guess he's starting to believe it.
okay, well. i need to stop obssessing for a moment.
i had to work this morning.  8 to 4, and no break. fun, fun. not. whatever, it wasn't so bad. not really. but i was kind of in a funk. my head was hours in the past (still on saturday night/yesterday morning... for obvious reasons.). but still, not too bad of a day, i guess. i got paid, too, so really, that just made the day so much better.
okay, well, the boy (well, man...) doesn't get off of work for about another two and a half hours. and i need to pass the time by doing ... well, something. and i don't know what to do. BLAH. blah, blah, blah. i could shower and go home to read. or write. or .... eat dinner. ionno. whatever.
okay, well, i'm going to go kill time until my baby gets off work (once again, benefits of having a boyfriend WITHOUT having a boyfriend. pssh... whatever.).
have a good week, friends!!!
XXXOOO
~Charly