work. stress. fun. life.

So, here are some pictures from the past week. Mom and my sister came down to Texas to visit before I leave. We did the touristy thing in Dallas then hung out and had a girls day on Tuesday. We took a tour of Cowboy Stadium and went antiqueing...That's where I got that cool bracelet. I also got a few bandanas. I'm getting into the habit of wearing one on my wrist in our down time.

For me, it's a reminder that I don't ever want to be in that place where self-harm is an option. I have been in that position before where I have wanted to do that. Now, the bandana on my wrist is a reminder that I am a stronger person. And hopefully a means to raise awareness.

But beside the point. It was nice to see my mom and sister this past week and spend some time with them. I am probably going home for our first vacation as well. So, I am pretty stoked about that.

Our first round ends on Wednesday. I honestly don't know how to feel about that. Happy, I guess, because I've done some good with our time here. We've helped people who needed it. Also, I am happy to go back to Denver for a week to get my head on straight before going home for a week. It's going to be a nice balance.
I also feel a litte ... sad. I don't really want this round to end. It was awesome. I really enjoyed our time here and I did like the fact that we were doing good for people who needed help.

I don't know, I guess I'm just a little wired. From everything that's been going on as of late. I still have to pack, I still have some work to do that needs done within the next few hours, I need to clean. And I only have so much time to do it. I have too many feelings about the past two months.

It's been kind of rough, kind of good, kind of stressful, kind of bad. Just a lot.
I honestly don't know what to think anymore. I mean. Good things and bad, I think everything turned out okay. I know I turned out a little better because of it. I hope my team has as well.

All in all, though. In all seriousness... I think this has been good.

Anyways. I've got some work to do. Hopefully I can really write some next weekend. :)

Y'all stay cool and awesome, alright?

hey hey hey

hey, y'all! so I'm still alive; sorry I haven't written in months. I've just been busy with life, then packing for AmeriCorps NCCC FEMA Corps. then I moved to Denver, CO, where I trained for a month. we traveled to Vicksburg, Mississippi, for another week of training and now we are in Denton, Texas. actually doing emergency management work. I am thoroughly enjoying myself, so happy that I am doing something good for people.
Texas is nice and warm. we had a thunderstorm last week. the storms here are so different than back home; they are truly beautiful. but a tornado had touched down three miles from where we are staying. it was kinda scary, but still.
this weekend I am doing 6 hours of individual service hours. add that to the three I have from last weekend, I will have nine of the ten required. it's intense but I try to have fun.
I have also been watching a lot of hockey at Buffalo Wild Wings. Detroit has been doing well the last two weeks, only losing two games. they kicked Buffalo Sabres butt yesterday; it was a beautiful win.
I've been talking to my mom way more often know since I have been gone than I ever had while I was living at home. she noticed and commented on it about two weeks ago. but it's a way to stay grounded. because if I didn't, I think I would go crazy. because I miss home. and this is the first time I have traveled and not had anyone around that I know. when I traveled in France, I always had friends and family around. so I knew I would be okay. the same goes for being on michigan. but this is a different story. I have literally nobody around. closest family around is my cousin but she's an hour away. and then after that, everyone is in Michigan. it kind of makes me feel alone.
but I am still at work. so I am going to sign off now and try to write again when I have time.
stay free.

(I'm waking up/I feel it in my bones/Enough to make my systems blow/Welcome to the New Age/To the New Age[...]Oooh-oh/Oooh-oh/I'm radioactive... -Imagine Dragons)

YUP YUP!!! BIG NEWS!!! As I sit here, freezing my ass off, waiting to be tired... I decided to write. About news that I got. I know you're all holding your breath. Okay, maybe not. But I know I'm excited.
Okay, so not much of a buildup, I know. But... *drum roll*... I got into the AmeriCorps!!!! It's kind of like the PeaceCorps, but on a national level. And it's a non-military thing. BUT I GOT IN! I've been waiting for two or three months to hear about whether I got accepted or not. And they've been sending me emails like mad about checking my app online. Which I finally did today. YEAH BUDDY!!!!! I'll be living out of state for ten months, doing disaster relief efforts and all that good stuff, helping people out. But that's what I do - I help people. And I'm excited.
I'm so weird. But that's okay. Because I don't care what people think.
My mom and dad are happy of me. For once.
So, anyways. I'm spending the next few days at mum and dad's house. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and there's a party on Saturday. So, I'll be here until Sunday at least. And I need to look for a job on Friday and Saturday, something chronic. So that I can save money to leave. YAY! I'm so damn excited.
Anyways. I made eight dozen cookies for tomorrow. There's my contribution. On top of cleaning up. I have to finish cleaning tomorrow morning, but it's mostly leg work. Stuff that I don't mind doing. I did most of the hard stuff tonight, I just have to through the table cloth in the wash in the morning, finish the dishes that need hand-washed, and scrub down the counters and sink. And sweep the front bathroom and clean my mum's bathroom.
Like I said, easy enough, but completely time consuming....
I'm starting to fall asleep... Barely... And Skyping my girlfriend. And in desperate need of a cigarette. I think I'm going to sign off here soon and smoke and cover the cookies and go to bed.
So, anyways, a few days ago, a friend of mine on facebook posted this note that got me off my rocker. He posted a note about homosexuality and how it's a sin and all that. I'm like, REALLY? I'm attracted to men and women. I don't say that a man being attracted to just women is wrong or a woman just attracted to men wrong. So why do people think that homosexuality and bisexuality are wrong or go against nature? It's not a CHOICE, it's SCIENCE! It's the way that one's brain is wired. I can't change it. Whatever, I'm just going to shut up about it. It's going to make me even more pissed off than I was to begin with.
So, I guess I'm gonna sign off here.
Y'all have a good night. All of my US friends, have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving. Be smart.
And to the rest of ya.. have a great rest of the week and great weekend (if I don't post by then).
Stay classy, imaginative and amazing.
XXXCharly

(Just remember we never said goodbye. So, I wrote you a note, left it in the pocket of your coat, reminding you that I'm still missing you. -Garou)

Soooooo. Big news. I'm going home. And not "home" as in back to my parents' house. Home as in back to my hometown of Paris, France. Back to where I belong. I'm moving there. And hopefully soon. I'm looking for an Au Pair there for at least six months, so I can get myself on my feet, find myself a job and my own place to stay. I'm also going back because I feel like there's something more for me there than there is here. Here, I'm held down by my demons, shackled down by all the shit that's gone on here.
But... The only thing that is bad about this is that my girlfriend is sad and upset and kind of mad at me about this. She's been crying all day because of it. We already live 1800 miles away from each other. When I move, it'll put a greater strain on our relationship, because I'm moving home. Further away than what we already are. She's moving to Denver, Colorado in February, though. Which will put an even BIGGER distance between us. It's killing me that I can't do anything about it. I mean, she's happy that I'm going back home and doing what's right for me. But is it right for US? I'll be home for a couple years, it's not going to be easy. I seriously don't want to lose her over this. I really don't. I want to be with her, I want to be where she is so that I can comfort her and tell her everything is going to be alright.
On one side of the token, it's something that will be good for me. It will do me sooo much good. To be home, to get away from the demons and the shit here.
On the other, it's hurting both my girlfriend AND me. because I'm the one putting a strain on the relationship. I'm the one who's moving away.


I just don't know what to do.

I told my mom what I want to do. She was along the same lines as me. That, because I don't know what I want to do, this will probably help me at least see what the world is like. I mean, I know that my parents will miss me, but it's not like I won't see them or they won't see me ever again. They both also have dual citizenship. And if they really want to see me, they can afford the trip.
It's going to be hard because the only life I know is here in the States. All my friends are here. My job is here. Everything. But that's beside the point. Just thinking about being home in a few months' time has me longing for the city streets. For the cafes there. The people watching. Despite not being a tourist, all the tourist traps, like the Eiffel Tower, Notre-Dame, the catacombs. The animosity I'll have in the big city. Just the fact that I'll be in my hometown again. The longing is powerful.
I have to finish a couple things before bed and it's already just about 2 am. I'm exhausted but this needs done. I'm already trying to get things set in motion so I can go home.
Have a good night all. xxx

If you need a superhero, I'll be hiding in an alter ego. -Class A Super Hero

Wow, I haven't written in awhile. I feel bad. In the time since I've written last, I've moved out of my parents' house. Living life. I applied to the AmeriCorps, which is a national version of the Peace Corps. I have a wonderful girlfriend of two months. And my favorite band is now Class A. It's almost Thanksgiving now. Halloween has come and gone. This year is almost over. Where has the year gone!? Yikes.
I'm surprised that it's halfway through the second week of November and my mum hasn't asked me what I am doing for Thanksgiving yet. Like, what? Seriously. If she asks the day of if I am coming over, I'll be, "I had no warning."
 The dog has flees, poor thing. Her stomach is all red, she's so itchy. I feel so bad for her.
I wrecked my car on Wednesday... It was raining. The people in front of me were stopping for geese and I slammed on my brakes and hydroplaned, slamming into the car in front of me. The front of my car was smashed. It looked like the engine ate the front bumper, the lights were busted, the hood looked like a tent. It was insane. I smashed my knee against the dashboard and bruised my left left arm.it was terrible.
Anyways... Enough about me today. How is everybody today?

(I wanna fly like a rocket to the sky. Going up a million miles, and I'm not coming down. Won't stop till I feel the sky at my feet. My dreams on my wings, I'm flying, I'm flying high. ~THE WANTED, ROCKET)

http://youtu.be/K3pNseNTi4c

"I'm climbing, I'm rising/I'm striking like lightning/Writing my name is skywriting/For all to see/I'll do something epic/And they won't forget it/Good enough's not good enough for me"
This song by these guys is amazing and awesome. Really and truly. It's inspirational. I feel like when I hear this song, I can do anything. Keep my head up, don't let all the drama mamas or anyone else bring me down. Rising and dreaming, never giving up.
I just love it. It makes me feel ready for anything and everything. It's my protection, my anthem, my prayer. It reminds me to never, ever give up. Which is something I tend to do often enough.
Anyways. I work from 12 to 6.30 today... I'm leaving class here in a few minutes, I just thought to pop in and write again. I'm thankful that I have a 10 hr day today, because that keeps me out of the house for awhile. I'm thinking about... well, I think I'm going to stay home tonight. I've been out every night for the past week, I'm going to stay home and relax for awhile. And tomorrow night, too, because my dad is leaving Thursday. So, I should probably stay home. Since I haven't really spent too much time with the family. Let's see, today is Tuesday. Yeah, I can spend two nights at home, for a change.
I'm so excited, because the Kids' Choice Awards are in 11 days... Well, the UK Kids Choice Awards... Which I will be watching. The US Kids Choice is in 12 days, and I'll be watching that, as well. But I am more stoked for KCAUK because The Wanted is nominated for an award. I think I'll cry if they win it, because they are so good. Well, that's my opinion of them, I don't know what anyone else thinks of them.
I think my next post (which is going to be within in a couple days) will be the lyrics to Rocket by The Wanted. It's just that amazing. Tell me, though, if you disagree. I think this is one of their very best songs, though.
I feel like my relationship with the 'rentals is a little bit better, which is good. Even though they are still stressful. I feel like it will get better with time. Nothing can really get better without time and work. But, who knows? It may be destruction, it may be rebuilt. I just don't know yet. I just hope it'll be at least be bearable.
Okay, I think I am going to sign off. Love y'all.
~Charly

(Please come now, I think I'm falling. I'm holding to all I think is safe. It seems I found the road to nowhere and I'm trying to escape. I yelled back when I heard thunder. But I'm down to one last breath. ~CREED)

I'm writing from Panera... And I'm switching pages quickly, there's voting going on for the UK KCA's... And a whole fandom is voting for The Wanted... So, I'm not sure how long this post will be, seeing as to I'm tweet voting... and writing a post... and voting for The Wanted. UNG! This is going to be soo hard. Oh, well, I can do this.


L to R: Jay McGuiness, Max George, Siva Kaneswaran, Nathan Sykes, Tom Parker

Despite the fact that I am a huge fangirl of these amazing lads, part of their fandom (TWFanmily, thank you for asking), I do listen to other music (obviously, otherwise my title would be something by The Wanted.).

I keep switching so I can get a tweet in... which means it's a vote... And I hope that they get the Award, because... well, they deserve it. And they are better than One Direction, at any rate.

That's my thought. Okay... Done fangirling for now.

I haven't moved out yet, but I've been hanging out at Ashley's house every night for the better part of a week. I still sleep at my parents' place, still eat their food, still pay them rent and all. But I don't use their space 24/7. It's so weird, because I'm never there anymore. Between work, school, going to ashley's house and the like... I am hardly ever home anymore. Ever.... I mean, yeah, I spend time there, but at least half my time is spend outside the house. And I kind of need that time away from them. Just my opinion.

It's healthier for me to get away, though, because I need the space and all. Plus, they can't get stressed if I do all my shit and am never home. Between having a social life, going to work and going to school, I usually am only home long enough to eat dinner and do my homework. So, that's that. I really can't do anything outside of that because ... I'm not home to do anything. So, guess what? They can't be mad.

alright, this is short, just like i said, but I'm going....
SEE YA!
~Charly